


Coffee is Better in Vere

by LindeHobbit



Category: Captive Prince - C. S. Pacat
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Coffee Shops, Eventual Happy Ending, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Laurent's abuse by his uncle is mentioned but in the past (not part of this story), Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-01
Updated: 2018-09-10
Packaged: 2019-05-31 21:21:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 21,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15128066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LindeHobbit/pseuds/LindeHobbit
Summary: Damen moves to Vere to begin a graduate program in foreign policy. Laurent, the beautiful barista at the local coffee shop, distracts Damen on his first day of class. A slow, careful romance develops, nurtured by their friends.





	1. Damen's First Day

**Author's Note:**

> This story is set hundreds of years after the events of The Captive Prince trilogy, but exists in the same universe. At this point in the timeline, Vere and Akielos are back to being separate countries, but they have a friendly relationship and are allies. They have open borders, trade readily, and are no longer distrustful of one another (for the most part). Both countries have transitioned from monarchies to democratically-elected governments.
> 
> I like to think of Damen's and Laurent's love as timeless...no matter what era they lived in, or how they met, they would have fallen in love. So why not a coffee shop in a college town? Grab a cuppa, and join us!
> 
> The story is completed, so never fear! Updates once a week on Saturdays or Sundays. Your comments mean the world and help me become a better writer! <3

Damen’s phone alarm jarred him from a deep sleep; it was somehow, impossibly, already 7:00 am. He pawed at his phone to silence it, nearly knocking the device off the cardboard box that was serving as his makeshift bedside table. Rubbing his eyes and groaning, Damen swung his sore legs out of bed, and ran his hands through his sleep-mussed dark curls. He yawned hugely and stretched his arms over his head, giving his brain and his body a moment to catch up with one another. _It’s Monday morning, my first day of grad school,_ Damen thought as he stretched. _It’s finally here._ A smile spread across his sleepy face.

Damen reached to his suitcase on the floor to dig through it for school-appropriate clothes, all the while daydreaming about a gigantic iced latte to ensure his proper caffeination for this important day. He stopped moving for a moment and listened, but all was quiet in the house; Nikandros did not seem to be stirring yet. So rather than disturb his roommate, Damen texted his friend Jokaste, who worked at a supposedly great coffee shop close by. His sluggish fingers moved over the screen.

D: Hey! Thanks again for your help moving me in yesterday! Remind me the name of your coffee shop?

Jo replied almost instantaneously:

J: Café Soleil. On Arles Blvd, 2 blocks off campus.

D: You there?

J: Nope, I’m off today. But you should go. Best coffee in Ravenel!

D: Cool, thanks. Have a good day!

J: You too!

Damen showered, shaved, dressed, and worked some gel through his wild black curls. He grabbed a banana from the kitchen on his way out the door, and unlocked his bike from the porch of the duplex he and Nikandros were renting a few blocks west of the university. It was a clear, early-September morning. The day promised to be warm, but the air was cool now as it rushed over Damen’s skin, and sunlight dappled through the tall trees. He noticed hints of autumn color starting to touch a few leaves here and there, a preview of the beautiful fall foliage for which Vere was known. As he pedaled, Damen fondly remembered the red, golden, and orange tapestry of autumn colors from his exchange year in Vere when he was an undergraduate. He breathed in the crisp air as he rode past other duplexes and grand old houses partitioned into apartments. Excitement thrummed through him, causing goose bumps to rise on his skin. _I’m really here, doing this,_ he thought, grinning into the wind.

Damen found Arles Avenue without any trouble and locked his bike in front of Café Soleil. The smell of coffee permeated the air, and his mouth watered as he walked inside. Soft jazz, the sibilant buzz of conversation, and the squeal of milk being steamed filled his ears. The room was spacious, with a dark, hardwood bar running most of the width of the back wall. Small tables and comfortable chairs filled the café, and colorful artwork, potted plants, and lamps surrounded them to warm the large space.

Damen loved the vibe of Café Soleil immediately. He got in line and was about to unlock his phone to scroll through news headlines when his attention was caught by something else entirely. Or rather, someone else. The barista making drinks this morning had to be one of the most beautiful human beings Damen had ever seen. He was tall and slender with luminous pale skin, shoulder-length yellow hair gathered in a loose ponytail at his nape, and eyes the color of the summer sea. Damen tried not to stare, but it was a futile effort; he could not tear his gaze away, even when he knew he was being rude. Then his phone buzzed in his hand, finally making him look down.

J: Did you find it OK?

D: Yep. In line now. Um…who’s the barista working today? He’s…WOW.

J: LOL. Called it! Knew you’d notice him. Laurent. Undergrad, Damen. Also my housemate.

D: Damn. Lucky you!

J: We’re just friends. And deep breaths, Damen. Tread gently.

D: What does that mean?

J: Not someone to mess with.

D: I wouldn’t!

J: I know. Just take it easy, OK?

D: OK. Confused, but OK.

J: We’ll talk. Gotta run…8:00 am class. Enjoy your coffee!

D: Thanks!

Damen made his way up to the counter, and placed his order. While he waited for his drink, he stole glance after glance at the distracting barista whose name was Laurent, he now knew; the nametag on his apron confirmed it. At last, he heard “large iced latte for Damen” in the lilting Veretian language; he took a long, slow breath, and approached the counter.

Laurent was already working on the next drink, but Damen hoped to get his attention.

“Thank you, Laurent,” he said. He waited for a moment, trying for his friendliest smile, and hoping the barista would meet his eyes.

Laurent paused, a jug of milk in one hand and a pint glass in the other. He did look up, a touch of wariness to his cool gaze.

“You’re welcome. Sorry, do we know one another?”

“Not yet, but my friend Jokaste mentioned that you worked here. And I saw your name on your apron,” Damen said, pointing at his own chest.

“Oh, right. So you must be that Damen. Nice to meet you,” Laurent said, offering Damen a quick, polite smile before lowering his eyes back to his work.

“You too. You’ve heard about me?”

“Well, as I’m sure she told you, Jo is my housemate, and she mentioned you were moving here. You two met in undergrad at the University of Ios, right?”

“Yep. Lived on the same hall freshmen year.”

“She said your Veretian was flawless, and she wasn’t kidding,” Laurent said softly, almost as if he didn’t realize he was speaking out loud. He met Damen’s eyes again, and a little warmth crept into his gaze this time.

Damen flushed with pleasure at the compliment. “Thank you. I double majored in Veretian and political science. Spent my junior year as an exchange student in Arles.”

“That’s where I’m from,” Laurent said.

“Really? Such a beautiful city.” 

Laurent lowered his voice, and his tone became tighter, cooler. “Yes, I suppose it is. I guess I have trouble thinking of it that way these days.”

Damen wasn’t sure what was behind the shift, but he wanted to get the conversation back into lighter territory. “Ravenel seems so charming. I look forward to getting to know it better.”

“I like it. There’s a surprising amount to do here for a comparatively small town,” Laurent replied, his tone sounding less pinched. “Jo said you moved here for grad school?”

“Yes. I’m doing a masters in foreign policy…first day today. My dream job would be joining Akielos’s diplomatic corps to Vere.”

“Do you dislike living in your own country so much?” Laurent asked, his hands busy steaming milk.

“No, I love Akielos, actually. But I’m also very interested in foreign relations, and I really enjoyed living in Vere when I was here as an undergrad.”

“Medium mocha with whipped cream for Pierre!” Laurent called into the bustle of the coffee shop. 

Damen reached for a straw. “Jo told me you’re at Ravenel University also?”

“Yes. I’m a junior. Double major in music performance and political science.”

“Wow. What do you play?”

“Actually, I’m a singer,” Laurent replied, pouring espresso shots into the next drink.

“That's amazing! I’d love to hear you sometime,” Damen said, lost in the idea as he swirled his latte idly with the straw.

“3 shots of espresso over ice for Vivienne!” Then, meeting Damen’s eyes, “Yes, because everyone loves listening to opera arias and art song,” Laurent deadpanned, lifting one golden eyebrow sarcastically.

Damen’s heart flopped around in his chest, but he recovered quickly. “I like listening to all kinds of music, personally.”

Laurent did not look quite convinced, but a small smile lifted the corners of his mouth. “Well, Jokaste can tell you when I’m performing. She usually tries to come.”

“Or you can tell me. I’ll probably be coming here a lot. The coffee’s great.”

“Really? You still haven’t taken a sip of your latte,” Laurent said, his blue eyes sparkling playfully.

Damen sighed as he looked down at his untouched drink, cheeks burning. “Uh, busted. But Jo told me it’s the best coffee in Ravenel. I believe her.”

“Fair enough,” Laurent smirked as he got to work on the next drink.

Damen plowed on, his determination to keep the conversation going sweeping his momentary embarrassment aside. “So, we have poli sci in common. What’s the draw for you there?”

“I’ve always found politics interesting. I like solving problems and playing games, and politics offers both in spades. Besides, making a living as a singer is a hard road. Good to cultivate some other options.”

“That makes a lot of sense.”

“I hope so.” Then in a louder voice, “small cappuccino for Jean Marc!”

Laurent looked up, and Damen realized he’d been caught staring. He lowered his eyes, and took a long drink of his latte, which was delicious. He sighed happily.

“This is perfect,” he said, smiling at Laurent.

Laurent seemed caught off guard, his eyes going wide. “Um, thanks. Glad you like it.” Then, looking down, almost to himself, “You’d be surprised how rarely people tell me that they like their drinks.”

“That’s a shame,” Damen said. “Do you not like working here, then?”

Laurent's gaze lifted to Damen's face again. “Oh no, I do, actually. Decent pay, and the owner is nice. Lots of friendly regulars. But some customers are just hard to please. It’s not usually about their lattes, though.” 

“True, I’m sure. Some people are never happy,” Damen said, and took another long sip, enjoying his drink thoroughly. “So did you and Jo meet here?”

“Yes. I was eager to escape the dorms for my sophomore year, and she was looking for a housemate. It’s worked out well. Ice coffee for Kyrina on the bar!”

“I expect Jo is pretty easy to live with.”

“God, yes. She’s a dream roommate and has become a good friend. We understand each other,” Laurent replied.

Damen could have stood in Café Soleil all day, talking to Laurent. He found himself irrationally afraid that if this conversation ended, they would never speak again. But the start time of his morning class was looming ever closer, and he did not want to be late on his first day. He knew he had to go. He forced himself to meet Laurent’s eyes and smile as warmly as he could through his frustration at having to leave.

“Well, I’d better think about heading up to campus for my first class. Do you have classes today also?”

“My first one is not until 11:00.”

Damen nodded, looking straight into the oceanic depths of Laurent’s eyes. “Laurent, it has truly been a pleasure meeting you. I hope to see you again soon. And thanks for the latte.”

Laurent held Damen’s gaze, the perpetual motion of his hands stopping for just a moment. A small flush crept across his cheeks, making his beauty all the more devastating. “Nice meeting you too. Have a good first day.”

“Thanks, you too! Bye,” Damen called over his shoulder as he reluctantly uprooted his feet and turned toward the exit. He stole one glance back at Laurent before he went out the door. Though he had dropped his eyes and busied his hands making drinks again, a gentle smile lingered on Laurent’s perfect lips, and that enchanting blush still dusted his cheekbones. Damen’s heart pounded as he made his way to school, thinking of that secret, sweet smile. He wanted to see it again. He wanted to be the reason for it.

 _Geez,_ Damen thought, as he pedaled toward campus, _I can’t even get through one week in Vere without already having a crush on someone. I’m hopeless._


	2. Chatting over Chili

The busyness of the school day did distract Damen somewhat. He was engrossed by his first class, and mid-day, he enjoyed eating lunch outside with some of his fellow foreign policy department students. As he chewed his ham sandwich, Damen gazed around him at Ravenel University’s campus with its ornamented stone buildings, tall hardwood trees, and lush, green quads criss-crossed by walking paths. He strolled around with several of his new classmates for a while after lunch, enjoying the sunshine and bright blue September sky. The loveliness of the weather made it hard to think of heading back inside to study.

After his afternoon class, Damen wrapped up his school day with some shopping at the campus bookstore. He shouldered his now-much-heavier backpack, unlocked his bike, and pedaled toward home.

Nikandros was settled at the dining room table tapping on his laptop when Damen walked in. He looked up, smiling.

“Hey man! How was your first day?”

“Good, Nik, thanks! How about you?”

“Well, everyone says that the second year of law school isn’t as tough as the first. So far I believe them,” Nik said, his dark brown eyes bright with happiness. “Want to have a beer on the porch?”

“That sounds perfect,” Damen said, loving the idea. “I can make us some guacamole if you want. Do we have avocados and chips?”

“Yep, and yep!”

“Great. You grab the beers, and I’ll make the guac.”

“This guac is awesome, man! I’ve missed living with you,” Nikandros said a few minutes later, his mouth full of green mush.

Damen laughed. “Thanks, Nik. Likewise. Hard to believe undergrad was three years ago already!”

“No kidding. When did we get so grown up?”

“I don’t know. Time is weird, isn’t it, especially with old friends. Can you believe we’ve known each other for 20 years? I don’t know how we got to be 25 years old.”

“I know. It’s fucking insane, “ Nik said, shaking his head. “So, tell me about your first day!”

“My classes seem good. Challenging, but really interesting. And it’s such a pleasure to speak Veretian on a daily basis again. I love the language. I was worried I was getting rusty, but it seems to be coming right back.”

“I don’t think it ever left you, Damen. It’s like you were born for it even though you’re Akielon. It’s weird. But good weird.”

“Thanks, man.”

“You left really early this morning. I was surprised you were already gone when I got up.”

“Yeah, I went to get some coffee at Café Soleil. Jo’s recommendation,” Damen said, trying not to blush at the memory of Laurent’s eyes and smile. Nik didn’t reply right away, and when Damen looked up, he knew he’d been caught.

“You noticed him, didn’t you?”

“Who?”

“C’mon, Damen. You met Laurent at Café Soleil, and that’s why you’re blushing like a teenager.”

“Ack. Guilty as charged. You know him too?”

“Sure. Jokaste and I see each other pretty regularly. I’ve been to her house a few times. I go to Café Soleil all the time…best coffee around here. So I definitely know Laurent. As soon as Jo and I found out you were moving here, we were both sure he’d catch your eye.”

“God, am I that predictable?” Damen groaned.

“Well, you’ve always had a thing for blondes. And though blond hair isn’t my thing, even I can see that he’s an exceptionally beautiful human being.”

“He really is,” Damen said dreamily.

“Were you late for your first class?”

“No! I’m not that hopeless.”

“Did he even talk to you? He can be a bit cold with people he doesn’t know well.”

“Yes, we talked. Knowing Jo was my in.”

“Well, good luck with that, man. Laurent has never, to my knowledge, dated anyone.”

“You’ve probably only known him for a year though, right? That’s not that long.”

“True.”

Damen’s phone buzzed, so he slipped it from his pants pocket. Jokaste had sent a text.

J: Hey! What are you and Nik up to tonight?

D: Sitting on the porch drinking beer and polishing off some guac. You?

J: Wondering if you two dorks want to come over for dinner. I made a giant pot of chili, and now I’m wondering what I was thinking since our freezer is full. And Laurent is making corn muffins right now.

D: Laurent will be there?

J: Stop drooling, Damen. I don’t know if he’ll eat with us or not. But his corn muffins will be here.

D: I know, I’m ridiculous. Asking Nik.

Nik nodded enthusiastically.

D: Thanks, we’ll come. Can we bring anything? Salad? Wine?

J: Got wine, but a salad would be great.

D: Can do! When?

J: C’mon over whenever you want.

D: Thanks! See U soon!

J: ☺

Damen stood up and stretched. “I’d better go take a shower if we’re going to be social.”

“You mean you want to smell good in case Laurent is there.”

“Fuck you,” Damen said pleasantly, rolling his eyes at his friend. He gathered his beer bottle and the empty guac bowl, dumping them in the kitchen sink before taking the stairs two at a time. As he stripped off his sweaty clothes and stepped into the shower, he could not stop thinking of eyes the color of the sea, and the flush that had colored Laurent’s breathtaking face. He knew it was insane to be thinking so much about someone he’d only just met, but he couldn’t seem to redirect his brain. He shampooed and scrubbed, and even gave himself a quick shave. After toweling off, he attempted to tame his dark curls with some gel that he particularly liked the smell of, and ran a toothbrush around his mouth quickly.

Back in his room, Damen rummaged in his suitcase until he found just the right shirt, and his favorite pair of jeans. On some level he knew he was dressing as if this was a date, and recognized the absurdity of it. Laurent might not even be there. It was Jokaste who had invited them to dinner, not Laurent. But he still couldn’t help himself. 

As he waited for Nikandros downstairs a few minutes later, Damen busied himself finishing up the salad Nik had started to put together, and tried to calm his racing heart. He could not remember ever reacting this way to meeting someone. It was disconcerting but also exciting. “We’re just going to Jo’s house to eat chili. Laurent is her roommate. He might not even be there,” Damen told himself. Having finished the salad, he tried not to fidget, pulling out his phone to distract himself with a game. But Angry Birds wasn’t doing it for him right now.

Finally Nikandros came down the stairs. Damen stood up, relieved that they could be on their way.

Nik cocked an eyebrow. “You look really nice for hanging out and eating chili. You even smell good!”

“I know, I know. I’m being totally insane.”

“Nah, man, you just know what you want. You clean up good.”

“Thanks, you too. Let’s go?”

“Sure. Want to walk? It’s just about 10 blocks.”

“Sounds good. I’ll grab the salad.”

As they stepped out, the last of the sunlight cast the trees in gold and created long, low shadows around them. The air was beginning to cool as the heat of the afternoon ceded to a crisp fall evening; a few early stars blinked into the darkening sky as they walked. Soon they stood on the front porch of a small brick house. Warm light poured from the front window. Nik knocked on the screen door.

“C’mon in,” Jokaste called from inside.

Damen followed Nik into an inviting living room with charmingly mismatched furniture, a fireplace, and a cheerful round rug. A candle flickered on the mantle. The smell of chili permeated the air, and Damen’s stomach rumbled in anticipation. A gray cat lay across the back of the couch, tail flopping gently back and forth. Nik went to say hello and scratched under its furry chin.

“Hey Maddie,” he said. The cat stretched and began to purr.

“Hi guys,” Jo said, coming in from the kitchen. “Glad you could make it!”

“Thanks for inviting us,” Damen said, giving Jo a peck on the cheek. “Your house is lovely…so cozy.”

“Thanks! I’m just renting, but I feel lucky to have found such a nice place. It’s not big, but there’s plenty of space for Laurent and me. And Maddie, of course,” Jo said, smiling at the cat fondly.

“May I be introduced to your cat?”

“She’s Laurent’s, actually. Her name is Madeleine, but we usually call her Maddie.” Jo crossed the room to the cat, and picked her up to bring her closer to Damen. “Maddie, this is Damen.”

Damen offered Maddie his hand to sniff. When she didn’t recoil or hiss, and he felt her wet nose against his skin, Damen petted her head softly, and scratched behind her ears. “Nice to meet you, Maddie.”

“Wow, she doesn’t usually take this well to people she hasn’t met before,” said a voice from the stairs. Damen looked up into startlingly blue eyes as Laurent came down to join them, a backpack slung over one shoulder. “Hi everyone.”

“Well, she is kind of being held captive by Jo,” Damen said, smiling warmly into Laurent’s face. 

“She’d get away if she wanted to. She has claws.”

Laurent crossed the room gracefully and set his pack down by the front door. Then, he stepped close to take Maddie gently from Jokaste’s arms; Damen caught the citrusy scent of shampoo clinging to Laurent’s damp golden hair. Laurent held Maddie against his chest for a moment, burying his fingers in her thick fur, before kissing the top of her head and depositing her back on the couch. Damen was mesmerized.

Laurent appeared not to notice. “Shall we eat? I have a rehearsal I need to get to soonish,” he said to Jokaste.

“Sure, the chili’s done. Guys, c’mon into the kitchen and serve yourselves.”

Damen and Nikandros followed Jo and Laurent into the kitchen. Damen took some quiet, deep breaths as he moved, trying to help his racing heart slow down. But his absolute elation made it difficult; Laurent was here, and he was going to eat with them!

Jo set out bowls and spoons, and placed a ladle beside a truly huge pot of chili steaming on the stove. Laurent pulled corn muffins out of the oven, where they’d been warming. Following Nik’s example, Damen filled his bowl with chili, grabbed a muffin, and headed for the round dining table in the next room. Jo had a bottle of red wine open, and she’d set out wine glasses for everyone except Laurent; he arrived at the table with a glass of water in hand. Damen set his food down, and then retrieved the salad he and Nik had brought, forgotten by the front door in his excitement at seeing Laurent.

Jokaste came in, spotting the salad. “Oh right, stuff for the salad,” she said, heading back into the kitchen for a moment. “Please start, everyone!” she called over her shoulder.

The three men sat down. Damen offered to pour wine for Nik, who accepted gratefully, and also filled Jo’s empty glass before pouring his own. Laurent took a long drink of his water.

Jo returned with the salad utensils and plates, and they all settled into the pleasure of a good meal. Damen relished the homemade cuisine after too much fast food the past few days as he packed up and moved. The chili was wonderfully flavorful, and Laurent’s corn muffins were moist, with a subtle hint of sweetness. Everything was delicious.

Damen and Nik both smiled appreciatively at their hosts, and complimented the food around big mouthfuls.

“Thank you,” Jo and Laurent said at the same time. Everyone laughed.

“Thanks for the salad,” Laurent said, looking first at Nik and then finding Damen’s eyes. “The greens taste really fresh.” Damen’s fork stopped moving, poised between his salad plate and his mouth.

“I got them at the farmer’s market on Saturday,” Nik responded after a moment. His words woke Damen from his Laurent-induced stupor, and Damen’s bite successfully reached his mouth. “I try to go every weekend if I can,” Nik continued.

“I always want to go,” Laurent said. “But I’m usually working on Saturday mornings, and I’m too tired to go stand around in the heat by the time I get off. Maybe now that the weather is cooling off, I’ll actually get there some Saturday.”

“I hope so,” Damen replied. “Maybe the four of us could even meet up there sometime.”

“That sounds fun,” Jo exclaimed. “The food trucks that park near the farmer’s market are THE BEST, so we could grab lunch after we shop.”

“Mmmm, food trucks,” said Nik dreamily, his mouth full of chili.

Laughter filled the dining room again.

“Well, how was the first day of school for all of you?” Jo asked expectantly.

“You first,” said Damen.

“Mine was good! I’m finally taking a class with the professor I was most excited to study with in the whole MBA program. She doesn’t teach intro classes, but she does teach a couple of classes for second years. So far, she seems as amazing as I’d heard.”

“That’s awesome, Jo,” Nik said, smiling. 

“Thanks! So, Damen, how’s Ravenel U treating you?” Jo asked, turning toward him and giggling with wine-rosy cheeks.

“So far, so great! The campus is beautiful, and my first two classes were interesting. I’ve met some cool people in the program already, and I’m getting to speak Veretian all the time! Win-win!”

“It is kind of funny that three of us are Akielon, but we’re sitting here speaking Veretian,” Nik said. “Not that I mind. I love the language.”

“If you three wish to speak Akielon,” Laurent said in Akielon, his words precise and slightly accented, “please don’t let me stop you. It would be a good opportunity for me to practice also.”

“You speak Akielon quite well, Laurent,” Damen replied, also in Akielon, smiling sincerely at him. “I’m very impressed.”

“Thank you. My father was a minister in our government, so he wanted us to be ‘children of the world,’ as he always said. He was a fluent Akielon speaker, and tried to raise us bi-lingual. I took to it better than Auguste, my brother, but I need more practice.”

“You’re doing just fine! But I’m happy to speak Akielon with you anytime you want, for practice,” Damen said, feeling warm and happy imagining it.

“Merci,” Laurent replied, inclining his head slightly, his smile a little shy.

“My dad is in the Akielon senate, and so is Nik’s mom, as you probably know, so there are a lot of government brats at this table,” Damen said in Veretian since Laurent had switched them back. “Nik and I became friends by escaping together from the boredom of our parents’ endless political gatherings. But as I got older, I realized I was actually interested in hearing about the politics, especially as they pertained to Akielos’s dealings with other countries.” Damen held Laurent’s eyes as he spoke.

“Yep, Damen became a nerd at an early age,” Nik teased.

“I did too, then. I was always interested in hearing about what my dad was working on,” Laurent said, his voice lowering and his eyes dropping to the tablecloth. “He just didn’t always want to take the time to tell me.”

Damen tried to find the words to respond to Laurent, but everything he tried out in his head sounded stupid or trite. When Laurent looked up at him, as if to gauge his reaction, he just nodded, and hoped his face looked sympathetic.

Jo redirected after a moment. “And Laurent, how was your first day of class?”

Laurent’s face became more animated as he pulled out of his memories. “Fine. I had my music theory class at 11:00, and I finally have the GOOD theory teacher this semester. Then, I had Music of the 20th Century at noon, and I think I’m seriously going to love that class. After lunch, I had Politics of the Middle East, which seems like it will be very interesting and challenging, and then a voice lesson at 3:30. Mondays are going to be my heaviest day this semester.”

“Yeah, sounds like a really full but good day for you,” Jo said, and then turned toward Nikandros, pouring him some more wine. “And you, Nik?”

“Good. As I said to Damen earlier, everyone kept telling me last year that the second year of law school isn’t as tough as the first. So far, I believe them. And I, also, got into a class with a professor I am particularly excited to work with. I had a great day today.”

“That’s awesome, Nik,” Damen said, smiling at his old friend. He felt another set of eyes watching him, and turned his head to meet Laurent’s gaze. Laurent hastily dropped his eyes to his last bite of salad.

Jo raised her glass: “To a promising new semester, and friends being together to toast it.”

Four voices said “cheers” and clinked their respective water and wine glasses. Then a chair scraped along the floor as it pushed back, and Laurent stood, collecting his dishes.

“It was great dining with you all. Unfortunately I have to head back to campus for a rehearsal.” Laurent looked around the table, his gaze lingering last and longest on Damen.

Damen met his eyes and smiled at him, though inside he was acutely aware of his disappointment that Laurent had to leave so soon. “It was really nice to see you again. Hope your rehearsal goes well.”

“Thanks, me too,” Laurent called from the kitchen. “A composer friend wrote a song cycle for me…it’s our first rehearsal tonight.”

“Wow,” Damen said, not knowing what else to say.

Laurent passed back through the dining room. “It’s really a lovely piece. I’m very honored. Anyway, good night, everyone. See you later, Jo.”

“Probably not, actually. I’m opening at Soleil in the morning, so I gotta hit the hay early.”

“Oh, that’s right. Well, sleep well. See you tomorrow.”

“Good night, Laurent,” Jo said, waving at him.

“Bye,” Laurent called as he headed for the living room. Damen heard the screen door close after him a moment later, a hard, melancholy sound.

Damen felt himself deflate a bit after Laurent left. His cheeks cooled, his heart slowed down, and he could not ignore his disappointment, even though it was nice to spend time with dear friends. Jo poured more wine to finish out the bottle, and none of them could resist another of Laurent’s corn muffins. The conversation shifted back into Akielon naturally, and soon Jo and Nik had Damen laughing as they reminisced about college shenanigans. His spirits gradually lifted, and he felt grateful to be with old friends in his new hometown.

When Jo stifled a yawn an hour or so after Laurent had left, Damen looked pointedly at Nik, and they stood up together from the table.

“We should help you clean up, and then get going,” Damen said. “We know you have an early morning.”

“Thanks guys,” Jokaste replied. “You can rinse bowls, plates, and silverware off, and load them into the dishwasher. I’ll wash the wine glasses later.”

“Sure thing,” Nik said, beginning to stack plates and bowls. He and Damen made quick work of the clean up while Jo put away the chili and muffins.

Damen realized he’d better make a bathroom stop before they walked home.

“Of course. Upstairs. First door on your left,” Jo directed.

When Damen came out of the bathroom, he couldn’t help himself. He knew it was wrong to snoop, but both of the bedroom doors upstairs were open, as if in invitation. It was easy to spot Jo’s bedroom across the hall, so the other one, next to the bathroom, had to be Laurent’s. He crept the few steps down the hall, and pulled out his phone, using the flashlight app to illuminate the dark room. He felt slightly guilty, but not enough to stop what he was doing.

Laurent’s room was neat and simply furnished. A twin bed covered by a patchwork quilt ran along one exterior wall, a small nightstand beside it. A well-loved stuffed dog lay on the quilt, its head on the pillow. Beyond the foot of the bed, a heavily-laden bookcase bowed below a small window. An open laptop and a half-drunk glass of water sat on Laurent’s desk, which looked out of the room’s larger window; a royal blue hoodie adorned its accompanying chair. And an electric keyboard, a songbook open on its music stand, stood just inside the door. The walls were decorated with a few posters of musical events, both classical and popular (Damen recognized Frances & the Automaton), and a large print of a beautiful mountain scene with a lake. On the nightstand, facing the bed, was a framed photo. Damen desperately wanted to creep across the room to see it, but he was afraid the floor would creak and give him away. He could just make out another photo sitting on Laurent’s desk; it showed a man and a woman, and two blonde boys, one small and one taller, but Damen dared not take a closer look. He presumed it was Laurent’s family when he was younger. A second picture on the desk showed a gray cat, probably Maddie.

Damen tried to memorize it all, but he knew he needed to get back downstairs. He could hear Nik and Jokaste talking in the kitchen, and he didn’t want them to move into sight of the stairs. He took a deep breath, as if trying to inhale something of Laurent while standing at the threshold of his private space, and then slipped quietly back to the bathroom. He had deliberately left the light on, so once inside, he flipped it off and walked out purposefully, coming back down to rejoin his friends.

“All set?” he asked Nikandros.

“I should probably pee before we leave too. All that wine!”

Jokaste laughed, and Nik headed upstairs.

“Thanks so much for dinner,” Damen said, smiling at Jo.

“You’re very welcome. We should do it again soon. And congratulations on not staring at Laurent the entire time.”

“Stop! I was really trying to be cool. He’s just so unbelievably gorgeous. But it’s more than that. He’s…” Damen trailed off, staring at the empty wine glasses on the counter as he tried to find the right word. “He’s compelling in a way that few people are. It’s hard to explain. I just really want to get to know him.”

“I agree, Laurent is compelling. He fascinates people, and of course he’s beautiful, which draws them in immediately. But he doesn’t let many people get close to him. He can have a sharp tongue, and be scathing and sarcastic. He’s not doing that with you, though. I think he likes you.”

“Really?”

“Yes. I don’t know if he likes you like _that,_ but he was surprisingly friendly with you this evening. It made me happy. I like it when my friends like each other.”

“What did you mean earlier when you said that I should tread lightly?”

“Well, I don’t want to say too much, because I feel like it’s Laurent’s story to tell, not mine,” Jo said quietly, dropping her eyes to a loose thread hanging from the sleeve of her blouse, and pulling at it. “But I’ll just say that he’s had some pretty hard knocks in his life, and because of that, he has trouble trusting people, and letting them get close to him.” Then, meeting Damen’s eyes again, “I suggest that you be extra patient with him, and let him set the pace as you get to know each other. He’s a good friend; it’s worth the effort.”

“OK, I’ll keep all that in mind,” Damen replied, stepping close to put his arm around her. “Thanks Jo.” He gave her shoulder a squeeze.

“Absolutely.”

Just then, Nik bounded down the stairs. “Ready brother?”

“Yep, let’s let Jokaste get some sleep. Thanks again for everything, dear,” Damen said, kissing the top of Jo’s head and releasing her.

“You’re welcome! Have a good rest of the week, guys. Maybe I’ll see you at Café Soleil one day.”

“Sounds good,” Nik said, hugging Jo.

Damen was quiet on the walk home, absorbing all that he had heard and seen, and trying to remember Laurent’s words, his expressions, the smell of his freshly washed hair, and the way that his blue eyes had lingered on him a couple of times during dinner. Though Damen knew he shouldn’t be hopeful at this early stage, and Jo’s advice bounced around his head, he couldn’t help the flutter in his stomach. There was just something about Laurent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Merci"="thank you" in French. It always seemed like Veretian was based on French in C. S. Pacat's books.
> 
> Frances & the Automaton is this universe’s version of Florence + the Machine. I can imagine Laurent loving that band because Frances (Florence Welch) is such an amazing singer.


	3. Friday Afternoon Coffee

The rest of the week passed quickly, Damen’s time occupied with classes, studying, exercising at the campus gym (and inquiring about working there as a personal trainer), figuring out how to navigate Ravenel on his bike, and a little unpacking here and there. He thought he might have glimpsed Laurent across the room at the gym one evening, but a fellow foreign policy student had come up to ask Damen about their assignment at the same moment, and he lost sight of him. So the next time he saw Laurent was Friday afternoon.

Damen decided to head for Café Soleil when he got out of class. He rode toward Arles Avenue, pedaling lazily and enjoying the weightless, glorious freedom of the start of the weekend. He was craving another iced latte since it was a hot afternoon. But even more than the coffee, he wanted to see Laurent again.

When he walked into Café Soleil, his gaze fixed immediately on the tall, blond figure behind the counter. He was here! Laurent looked beautiful but tired, eyes dark-circled and shoulders seemingly tense since he reached up to squeeze them repeatedly. He didn’t notice Damen right away, but eventually he gave a small smile and waved. Damen’s heart knocked around in his chest.

As he waited for his drink a couple of minutes later, he approached the counter.

“Hi Laurent.”

“Hello Damen. How has your week been?”

“Good, thank you! I’m really enjoying school so far. How about you?”

“Things are going fine, thank you.”

“You look a little tired.”

“I am tired…didn’t sleep well last night. Happens.”

“Does it happen often?” Damen asked softly, trying to sound concerned, not nosy.

“More often than I wish it would. I have some issues with insomnia. But I’m OK,” Laurent answered, his clipped tone effectively shutting down that line of questioning.

“Hope you sleep better tonight. It’s been hot the last couple of days. Do you and Jo have air-conditioning?”

“Yes, we do. The second floor still gets pretty warm, though. And of course Maddie insists on sleeping right next to me, even in this heat. In the winter it’s nice, but this time of year…not as pleasant. But I don’t have the heart to keep her off the bed.” When he’d mentioned Maddie, Laurent’s eyes had softened with fondness.

“Yeah, my dog when I was growing up used to do that too,” Damen said, chuckling at the memory. “He was a big guy, and he’d want to sleep practically on top of me. And it is much hotter in southern Akielos than it is here.”

“Sounds delightful.”

“Ha ha. Yes, sweat and dog fur go really well together.”

“Ugh,” Laurent said, but his eyes crinkled as he grinned knowingly. Damen laughed.

“So, Nik and I are heading to the farmer’s market around noon tomorrow. Would you like to join us?”

“Oh,” Laurent said, looking surprised. “Right. We talked about that at dinner.”

“We talked about it in theory. It sounded like you wanted to go sometime, so I thought maybe you’d like to join us tomorrow.”

“Um, I don’t think I can tomorrow, but thanks for the invitation.”

Damen tried to hide his disappointment, but it must have shown on his face because Laurent quickly added, “I’ll probably have to work a double shift here. One of my colleagues just went home sick, and it doesn’t look good for tomorrow. So I told our boss I was free if she needed me.”

“I understand completely. Another time, then?”

“Yes, and hopefully Jo can also join us.”

“That would be great.”

“Here’s your latte.”

“Thanks so much, Laurent,” Damen said, offering his warmest smile. He took a sip right away, closed his eyes, and sighed in contentment.

“You sure are easy to please,” Laurent said, lifting one golden eyebrow, a half smile playing on his lips.

“Coffee in Vere is just better than coffee in Akielos…it’s one of the things I was really looking forward to about moving back here. But even for Vere, this is really good. God, I love coffee.”

“Apparently.”

“Do you not like it? That would be weird…working in a coffee shop and all.”

“No, I like it. A lot. One of the best perks of working here is free coffee.”

It had been slow in the coffee shop as they chatted, Damen’s drink being the only one Laurent had to make. But suddenly, a group of high school students tumbled into Café Soleil, filling the room with laughter and exuberant conversation. Drink orders began to accumulate.

“I guess I should get out of the way and let you work on all those drinks,” Damen offered, raising his voice over the giggles of the students as the cups for Laurent stacked up at the other end of the counter.

“No need, unless you have to go. I can talk and make drinks at the same time.”

“True. You demonstrated that the other day.”

“So, besides the farmer’s market, any plans for the weekend?”

“Grocery shopping. Unpacking, getting settled…didn’t have time for much of that this week. Also, I’d really like to go somewhere to have a couple of beers and listen to some live music tomorrow night. Any suggestions?”

Laurent thought for a moment. “Le Chat Bleu, just a block from here, is a cool club if you like jazz and blues. Very laid back atmosphere. Nice dance floor. And they have a good selection of beer on tap, according to my beer-drinking friends. The food isn’t bad either.”

“Sounds excellent. Wanna go there with me on Saturday night?” Damen said, holding his breath, and stubbornly ignoring the little voice in his head telling him that he was completely ignoring Jokaste’s advice and moving much too fast.

Laurent went very still; even the constant motion of his hands stopped for a moment. He sighed, and drew himself stiffly to his full height, staring intently at the espresso machine.

“That depends,” he finally replied, still not meeting Damen’s eyes. “If you’re asking me to Le Chat Bleu on a date, then the answer is no, thank you. I don’t date.”

“Like, at all?”

Laurent looked up. “That’s right. Problem for you?” His tone was hard as ice.

“No, of course not,” Damen said, trying to infuse his voice with all the congeniality he could in an attempt to cover his shock and crushing disappointment. “It’s your choice to make. I’m just surprised is all.”

“Yes, everyone always is. I expect that now you’ll be withdrawing your offer for Saturday night. That’s usually how it goes.”

“No, Laurent. I’d still love to hang out with you on Saturday night. I’m really enjoying getting to know you. I just moved here, and I’m so glad to have met you already.”

“You heard what I said about not dating, right?”

“Yes, I heard you. So I’ll rephrase: do you want to go to Le Chat Bleu with me tomorrow night as friends? And other friends are also welcome, of course.”

Laurent tried to compose his features quickly to mask his shock, but he didn’t quite manage it; his eyes went wide for just a moment, and a lovely flush traveled steadily across the plains of his face. His posture softened, and a gentle smile lifted those perfect lips. Damen held his gaze, trying to keep his own smile easy, and waited.

“Sure. That sounds fun,” Laurent finally said. “Do you mind if I invite my best friend, Jord? He’s a senior biology major at Ravenel, pre med.”

Damen’s relief flooded his lungs and widened his smile. “Please invite him…I’d love to meet him. I’ll probably invite Nik, if you don’t mind. And by all means, see if Jo can join us.”

“OK. Sounds good, thanks. Want to meet there around 8:00 pm?”

“Sounds perfect.”

“Ok.”

“Ok.”

“Five large caramel frapps with whipped cream on the bar!” Laurent called out. The high schoolers collected their drinks in a flurry of conversation and left Café Soleil. Laurent looked wistfully after them.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

“Well, pay up,” Laurent said, eyes returning to Damen and twinkling with a small grin. Then, more serious, “I was actually just wondering how anyone can be that happy in high school.”

“High school wasn’t so bad.”

“Maybe not for you. You’re a giant animal, so I expect no one tried to give you any shit…you probably played every sport in school. I’m guessing you were popular, what with your looks and all.”

Damen shook his head and laughed. “Giant animal? That’s a new one.”

“I meant it in the best possible way,” Laurent said, smiling mischievously.

“So, um, no I didn’t play every sport in school. I did play rugby, and I wrestled. I kept wrestling in college, actually…that’s the sport I like best.”

“Giant, wrestling, rugby-playing, popular animal,” Laurent said, those amazing blue eyes sparkling.

Damen burst out laughing. “I did have friends in high school, but I wasn’t like, the King of Akielos or anything.”

“I should hope not,” Laurent deadpanned. And then he finally laughed too.

“So, back up for a second…did you say something about my looks a moment ago?”

“You don’t miss anything, do you? Surely you must know that you’re attractive.”

“Wow, thank you. So are you, by the way. Even though you aren’t a giant animal.”

Laurent snorted, trying to stifle his laugh. “Thank you. And I’m a perfectly respectable size. You, on the other hand, have obscenely large muscles, and apparently some Hulk DNA.”

Damen laughed again, enjoying their playful banter. He caught and held Laurent’s eyes, relaxing his lips into an easy smile. “So, if I didn’t know better, I’d think we were flirting with each other right now.”

“So know better. Not much point in flirting when there won’t be any dating.”

“But flirting is fun.”

Laurent looked down at the counter, wiping up coffee grounds with a rag looped through the tie of his apron. “If you say so. But it won’t get you anywhere.”

“OK, OK. Message heard loud and clear.”

“Good.”

“I guess I should head home.”

At that, Laurent looked up into Damen’s eyes; Damen could swear he looked a little sad for just a moment before he shuttered his expression into a more neutral one.

“What, are you and Nik having a keg party tonight or something?”

“Nah, not tonight. Or probably ever. I think my keg party days are over.”

“Big, grown up graduate student now?”

“Something like that. I drank a lot as an undergrad…sort of a ‘been there, done that’ kind of situation.”

“Yet another thing I’m missing out on.”

“Not much of a drinker?” Damen asked.

“Nope. I have no interest in doing something that erodes my self-control.”

“Fair enough. I wouldn’t mind never being drunk again, honestly, but it’s nice to have a beer or two with friends.”

“If you say so.”

Damen laughed. “Just my opinion. There’s certainly more to life than alcohol.”

“Really? You don’t say. Please enlighten me,” Laurent drawled, eyes comically wide.

“Ha ha. Seems to me you’re doing a fine job discovering that for yourself.”

“Well, thank you very much.”

“You’re welcome.” Damen lifted his dark brown eyes to Laurent’s glittering blue ones, trying to infuse his expression with as much warmth and kindness as he could. Laurent gazed back at him, as if he could not get enough of the sight. But then, it was as if he realized he’d been caught enjoying himself; blushing, he suddenly dropped his eyes to the espresso machine, and began to tidy it up.

Damen noticed the shift, and took it as his cue to leave. “Well, like I said, I’d best get home. But I’ll look forward to seeing you tomorrow night.”

“Yes, I’m looking forward to it also,” Laurent said softly. The sparkle in his eyes had dulled, and his usually graceful shoulders slumped a little. Damen wished he understood what was causing the change. He wasn’t sure that he was not to blame, so he wanted to give Laurent some space, even as he hated to take his leave.

“See you tomorrow. Hope you get some sleep tonight.”

“Thanks, me too. See you soon.”

Damen forced himself to leave Café Soleil without turning around this time. He was beginning to sense that powerful forces moved inside Laurent and could shift in a moment; even though he didn’t understand them, he never wanted Laurent to feel cornered. And Damen had a lot to process himself. His thoughts swirled as he unlocked his bike and began his journey home.

So Laurent did not date. At all. Damen had never encountered such a thing in all his 25 years. But rather than making him want to run, it made Laurent even more fascinating and puzzling to him. Damen sighed. Unrequited romantic feelings were not his favorite situation. But as he rode toward home, Damen decided (without even really having to decide) that he would rather be Laurent’s friend than not have him be part of his life. It startled him how important Laurent had become to him in so short a time. If he could not date Laurent, he would try to be the best friend he could be to him. That part of the situation was within his control.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Le Chat Bleu" = "The Blue Cat" in Veretian (French).


	4. A Talk with Jord

As Laurent watched Damen walk out of Café Soleil, he couldn’t ignore the way his mood took a nosedive. His heart pounded, but his limbs felt heavy, his tiredness seeming to intensify gravity. His thoughts replayed his conversation with Damen on an endless loop. Laurent counted the minutes until his break, fidgeting behind the counter and cleaning everything within arms’ reach. When the counter and the espresso machine were both gleaming, he buzzed around the café between drink orders, wiping off every table.

A few minutes later, freed from his post at last, Laurent stepped outside into the alley behind Café Soleil, pulling his phone from his back pocket and leaning heavily against the brick wall. Jord, his best friend, was on speed dial, and Laurent slid down the wall as the call connected. But much to his frustration, Jord did not pick up. Laurent spoke rapidly: “Hi, it’s me. Please text when you can. Or better yet, if you’re free tonight, could we hang out? I really need to talk to you. I get off from Soleil at 7:00 pm…on my break now. Thanks.” Laurent put his phone away, and knew it would be a long afternoon of checking it constantly. He bounced his head against the brick wall softly, over and over, Damen’s warm brown eyes and easy smile refusing to leave him in peace.

7:00 pm arrived, and Jord still hadn’t been in touch. Laurent began his walk home, and was more than halfway there when Jord finally texted him.

J: Hey! Just got your VM…busy shift, and then I went to the gym. What are you doing now?

L: Walking home.

J: I can come pick you up. I’m about to drive home.

L: Sounds good. I’ll just keep walking down Rue de Érable.

J: Be there in a sec.

Jord pulled up in his blue Honda Civic a couple of minutes later.

“Thanks for coming to get me,” Laurent said, climbing into the passenger seat.

“Sure. How are you?”

“OK. Tired. And pretty confused.”

“Yeah, I had the sense something was up,” Jord said, studying Laurent’s face. “And it looks like you didn’t sleep much last night.”

“No, I didn’t. Nothing new there…just another night with my buddy insomnia. That’s not why I’m confused. But before I tell you about that, how was the ambulance today?”

“Busy shift! Three runs, but all the folks should be OK, thankfully. A good day to be an EMT.”

“I’m glad.”

“Yeah, me too. So… you’re confused.” Jord began to drive.

“Yes, I really am.”

“OK, I’m guessing this has something to do with a boy.”

Laurent looked at Jord, cocking one golden eyebrow. “Am I that easy to read?”

“I’ve known you a long time.”

“True. And yes, it does have something to do with a boy. Or rather a man.”

“Jokaste’s old friend Damen? Who’s living with Nikandros?”

“Right again. Are you psychic?”

“Nope. But you were talking about him after Monday night’s dinner. You don’t usually talk about men you meet unless they get under your skin in some way. So what is it about this guy?”

“I don’t know, but I can’t stop thinking about him,” Laurent said, twirling a loose lock of hair around one finger as he gazed out the window. “He’s really…nice. Thoughtful, even. And funny. And smart. He’s also unreasonably gorgeous. It’s not fair.”

Jord chuckled. “Ok. He sounds pretty great. And I expect Jo can vouch for him?”

“Yes, she’s always told me that he’s a good guy. ‘Not a dishonest bone in his body,’ she said just this past week. They’ve been friends a long time.”

“So what’s the problem?” Jord asked patiently.

“He asked me out. I was really hoping he wouldn’t, at least not yet, but he did. I gave my standard answer, but it didn’t feel good. I didn’t like disappointing him. And he was really kind and reasonable about it. It confused the shit out of me.”

“Has it occurred to you that maybe you didn’t actually want to say no?”

Laurent turned toward Jord, incredulous. “Of course I wanted to say no!”

Jord kept his eyes on the road. “Hmm. I was just thinking that if you actually wanted to say yes, but you said no, that would explain the sad, confused feelings.”

“I never said I felt sad.”

“You didn’t have to,” Jord said kindly. “You know, Laurent, I’ve thought for a while that your no dating policy would work fine until the day you met someone who knocked the breath out of you and made the whole thing tumble down. I don’t know if Damen is that guy or not. But maybe it’s time to start questioning whether this wall you’ve built around yourself still makes sense.

“You know why I have to do things this way,” Laurent said, turning to stare determinedly out the window again. The car slowed and stopped in front of Jord’s apartment building; Laurent watched a squirrel scramble up the large maple tree by the curb.

“Yes, I know why you decided that not dating at all was the way you needed to handle yourself,” Jord continued. “Of course I do. But Laurent, you’re older now. You’ve grown up. And a decision you made when you were 15 might not still be the right one.”

Laurent was quiet for a long time. Finally, he turned to face forward, studying his hands and picking at a hangnail on his thumb. Almost inaudibly, he said, “But it’s soooooo scary to even think about dating. If I do it, I’m going to be really terrible at it. Like AWFUL, Jord. And if I ever get up the guts to tell the guy about...my past…he’ll no doubt run. A disaster waiting to happen.” He stared out the windshield now, his eyes wide but not seeing his surroundings.

Laurent flinched as he felt Jord’s gentle touch on his shoulder, then sighed, and turned toward his friend. “Sorry. I don’t know why I did that.”

“You never need to apologize to me about that. And I do. You were starting to slip away into the past, and there are some really dark places there. I was trying to keep you here, with me.” Jord kept his hand where it was.

Laurent reached to his own shoulder to squeeze Jord’s hand. “Thanks. I don’t know why you put up with me.”

“Aw Laurent, you’re my brother from another mother. You’re stuck with me,” Jord replied, laughing and punching Laurent’s arm lightly.

Laurent rolled his eyes, and chuckled softly.

“C’mon, let’s go in and hang out. Unless you need to get home right away.”

“Nope, I can stay for a bit.”

They walked up the steps to Jord’s third-floor apartment, and collapsed on his squishy couch side by side. “Is Orlant here?” Laurent asked, glancing toward Jord’s roommate’s bedroom door. 

“Nope, he went home for the weekend.”

Laurent relaxed into the couch, letting it take his weight. He rested his head on Jord’s solid shoulder and just breathed for a moment. Jord settled a warm arm around him.

“So,” Jord began, “I need to say something, and you’re not going to like it. But hear me out.”

“OK. Shoot.”

“I think that a truly kind man who cares about you will not only not be put off by your past, but will also really admire you for the ways you’ve overcome it. There’s a lot about you to admire. You do know, Laurent, that you did nothing wrong, and none of it was your fault.”

“I know, I know,” Laurent said, picking irritably at cat hair stuck to his shirt.

“Do you? Because you still seem to have a lot of shame around it.”

Laurent laid his hands in his lap to still them. He lifted his head and looked into Jord’s caring, open face, trying to put his thoughts into words. “It’s hard not to feel…disgusting…when I think about it. It was really vile stuff. Anymore, it’s not so much shame about what happened…I do think I’ve made progress there…as anxiety about what would happen if I tried to be close, physically, with anyone. I just feel like I’m broken in that way.”

“I don’t think you’re broken,” Jord said, squeezing Laurent’s shoulder. “I think a gentle, patient man could help you discover that. Only you can know who that man might be. But if you shut them all down before they even have a chance, you’ll never know.”

“Safer that way.”

“But will you be happy being safe? For your whole life? Sounds pretty lonely to me.”

“God Jord, I’m only 20!”

“Yes. But why wait to be happy?”

“I’ve only just met Damen! A week ago today I had no clue who he was!”

“True,” Jord said, eyes sparkling a bit mischievously. “And a week from now, you could know him a whole lot better!”

Laurent slipped out from under Jord’s arm, grabbed one of the pillows on the couch, and whacked him over the head with it. Jord retaliated, and soon they were attacking each other with abandon, laughing. When the pillow battle finally subsided, they slumped against opposite ends of the couch breathing hard, knees touching.

After a moment, Jord asked, “So you said Damen was nice about your rejection?”

“Yes, ridiculously nice! He asked me to go to Le Chat Bleu with him on a date. When I gave my usual 'I don’t date' spiel, he turned it into a 'let’s go as friends and invite other friends too' thing. So please please please go to Le Chat Bleu with me tomorrow night at 8:00?” Laurent pleaded, sitting up with round eyes and making begging puppy sounds.

Jord laughed. “You’re lucky my social life is so uneventful. I was thinking of going to a movie with my friend Kevin, but maybe we can go in the afternoon instead. I’ll text him now.”

Jord reached for his phone and texted Kevin, who was flexible on movie times. He assured Laurent he’d come with him to Le Chat Bleu on Saturday night. “That way, I can check out this Damen guy, too, and make sure he’s worthy!” Jord said, his smile a little cheeky.

“Oh God, what am I getting myself into?”

“I don’t know, Laurent, but you’re about to find out.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” Laurent admitted, returning to his cat hair picking.

Jord reached for Laurent’s hands, and squeezed them into stillness. “Don’t be afraid. You’re one of the strongest people I know. Whatever this is, you’ve got it.”

“Thank you, Captain Jord of the Laurent Cheerleading Squad.”

“Yeah, you’re funny. And I meant what I said, you know.”

Laurent threaded his fingers through Jord’s. “I know you did. Thank you.”

“Yep. I’m gonna go grab a beer. Want some sparkling water or something?”

“Sure, whatever you’ve got. Thanks.”

Jord was back in a moment with their drinks, and opened his laptop to show Laurent some pictures from his recent vacation along the southern Veretian coast. 

“So, who’s the dark-haired cutie I keep seeing in your pictures?” Laurent asked, raising an eyebrow playfully as he looked at Jord.

“His name is Aimeric. He’s beautiful, and it was fun at the beach, but I don’t think it’s going anywhere. He just left for an exchange year in Patras anyway.”

“Have you talked to him since you got back?”

“We’ve texted a few times, and it’s friendly, though he does love to whine about how his dad always treats his brothers better than him. It’s a little annoying, to be honest. Like I said, fun summer fling, but I think it’s better to leave what happened at the beach at the beach.”

“OK. I get it. You know, Nikandros may be at Le Chat Bleu tomorrow night.”

“I was wondering,” Jord said, his hazel eyes suddenly unfocused and shining.

“Thought you might be. Damen said he was going to invite him.”

“I don’t even know if he likes guys.”

“Given the way he stared at you all through dinner that night, I think it’s a pretty safe bet that he does,” Laurent smirked.

“And he’s a second year law student,” Jord continued, as if he hadn’t heard Laurent. “I doubt he’d be interested in an undergrad.”

“Why not? I think you’re the best, so why wouldn’t Nikandros?”

“Ugh, STOP Laurent!”

Laurent laughed. “OK. But just don’t sell yourself short. You wouldn’t let me get away with that shit. Promise me you’ll talk to him if he’s there.”

“Of course I’ll talk to him!”

“Good.”

Jord groaned, and rolled his eyes at Laurent. “OK, now I need distracting. Wanna order some pizza and watch Netflix?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rue de Érable = Maple St. in Veretian (French)


	5. Saturday Night Dancing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for this update being a day late! Our vacation schedule threw things off a little bit. Thank you for hanging in there with me, and hope you enjoy the chapter. As always, your comments mean the world to me, and help me become a better writer...thanks for your feedback on my story!

The next evening, Damen walked with Nikandros toward Le Chat Bleu under a starry sky, the nearly-full moon bathing the houses and trees in silvery light.

“You’re quiet,” Nik observed as they moved, their long legs stepping together.

“Yeah, sorry. Too many thoughts swirling in my head,” Damen said, fidgeting with the zipper on his jacket. Saturday had been busy with errands and unpacking, and he hadn’t yet told Nik about his conversation with Laurent the previous day. It had somehow seemed too private, and he reasoned that he was still trying to make sense of it himself.

“Are you nervous? About tonight?”

“Uh, yeah, maybe a little,” Damen replied, forcing himself to meet Nik’s eyes and smile. “But I don’t know why. This isn’t a date. We’re just hanging out with Laurent and Jokaste at a club. It’s like dinner the other night. But Laurent makes me feel…” Damen searched for the right words, “unsettled. Excited. Like my own skin is too tight or something. And the weird part is that I like feeling that way.”

“Yeah man, you’re crushing pretty hard,” Nik said, shaking his head with a small laugh.

“I know, dude. It’s rough.”

“Well, all you can do is try, right? You can’t control what he does.”

“True.” Sighing, Damen decided he really needed Nik’s feedback on the situation with Laurent. “So, um, Nik, I need to tell you something, but please keep this in confidence,” Damen said, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk.

Nikandros also stopped and turned to face Damen, meeting his gaze. He clasped Damen’s shoulder, squeezing once. “Of course. You can trust me with anything.”

“I know I can,” Damen said, starting to walk again, but at a slower pace. Nik matched it. “So, yesterday at Café Soleil, before we made the group plans for Le Chat Bleu, I actually asked Laurent out. And he told me that he doesn’t date. At all.”

“Whoa. Really?”

“Yeah. It shocked the hell out of me. And I’ve been wondering what it all means.”

“Do you think he’s asexual? I mean, that’s a real thing.”

Damen was quiet for a moment, his eyes looking ahead but not really seeing their surroundings. He stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jeans to stop his fidgeting. “I know it’s a real thing. And I don’t know. He never used the word asexual. And I know that some people who identify as asexual do date and have relationships. I swear Laurent flirts with me, and of course I haven’t been able to stop myself from flirting back. I’m pretty sure I read people well enough to be able to see signs of interest, and I’ve caught him staring at me a few times. And he blushes sometimes when we’re talking...God, it’s so beautiful. But he’s also made it really clear that he does not date. It’s puzzling.”

“Yeah, no kidding. That’s rough, man. So what are you going to do?”

Damen sighed. “There’s nothing to do except just enjoy getting to know him as a friend. He’s told me where he stands, and unless something changes for him, the only thing I can do is be a good friend. At least that’s how I see it.”

Nik whistled a breath out through his teeth. “I agree. But that’s hard. I know you really like him.”

Damen smiled at his friend, grateful for his presence. “I do. I fall quickly and hard. But it’s OK, Nik. I’ll get over it. We should pick up our pace. I slowed us down with all this.”

“Yeah, drama boy. Let’s go.”

A few minutes later, they walked into Le Chat Bleu. Purple velvet curtains hung inside the foyer, separating the interior of the club from the outside world. The sounds of live jazz drifted out to meet them, along with laughter, conversation and the clink of cutlery. Damen looked around the dim space, and spotted Laurent, Jokaste, and a man he did not recognize standing to one side. Trying to put aside his confusion, Damen smiled as he approached them. Nik followed, coming to stand beside him.

“Hi guys. And gal.”

“Hey you two,” Jo said.

Laurent stepped forward, along with the man Damen didn’t know. Damen sucked in some air; Laurent looked stunning. His golden hair was loose on his shoulders, and he wore slim black jeans and a silk button-down shirt, the dark-blue color accentuating the lighter blue of his eyes. Laurent met Damen’s gaze, and gestured to the man beside him. “Damen, this is my friend Jord. We went to high school together back in Arles. He’s also an undergrad at Ravenel.”

Damen offered his hand, which Jord accepted in a warm handshake. “Great to meet you, Jord.”

“You also,” Jord said, smiling; then, his eyes shifted to Nik, who stood beside Damen. “And good to see you again, Nikandros,” Jord said, his voice sounding a little quieter, shyer. They shook hands, holding one another’s hands and eyes for a long moment, Damen noticed.

“Shall we go in?” Jo asked? She wore a sleeveless floral print dress with a full, twirling skirt; her blond hair, much the same shade as Laurent’s, was pinned up on top of her head. She caught Damen’s eyes, raising an eyebrow as she glanced toward Nik and Jord, who were still standing close together and talking. Damen shrugged, grinning. Then he felt eyes on him, and looked up into Laurent’s complicated, hypnotic stare. Feeling flustered, Damen turned back to Jo.

“Sure, l want to check this place out,” Damen said.

“Cool! And you are so dancing with me!”

“I’d love to,” Damen told her. He knew from experience that Jo was a lovely dancer, and he always enjoyed a spin around the dance floor. Once again he felt the weight of Laurent’s eyes. He tried to ignore it.

Damen moved inside the club with the group, taking in the room’s pleasant vibe. A small stage dominated front and center, and a quintet of jazz musicians populated it: a pianist, saxophonist, bass player, drummer, and vocalist. Small cocktail tables and a few round booths cozied with throw pillows surrounded a busy dance floor in front of the stage; votive candles flickered on all the tabletops. The soft lighting was soothing to Damen; somehow he didn’t think he’d be able to take seeing Laurent in bright sunlight right now. Although perhaps Laurent by candle-glow was not much better. Damen sighed.

Laurent headed for one of the booths on the left side of the room. They filed in, Laurent farthest inside, flanked by Jo on one side and Jord on the other. Damen and Nik took up the ends.

A server came by to get their drink orders, and Jo ordered a couple of appetizers for the table. Damen was impressed by the beer selection; he ordered a locally brewed stout. Laurent, he noticed, ordered a club soda with lime.

The drinks came quickly, followed by the appetizers, and helped to break the ice; Damen relaxed as the conversation began to flow more naturally. He tried to distract himself from Laurent’s unrelenting beauty by watching Nikandros and Jord flirt and talk. He’d have to remember to ask Nik to tell him about the first time they had met; it must have made quite an impression on them both.

Jord made a somewhat risqué but very funny joke about the ancient Veretian practice of keeping human pets and made everyone giggle; Damen wiped his eyes. When the laughter died down, Damen asked Jord, “So you and Laurent went to high school together, right? You’re from Arles also?”

“Yes, we became good friends in Laurent’s 9th grade year, 10th grade for me. I was born and raised in Arles. My family’s still there.”

“Cool. I spent a year there as an exchange student when I was an undergrad,” Damen said. “I really loved the city. It has such a different vibe than my hometown, Ios.”

“How so?” Jord asked.

“It has a quicker pace, more bustling…people talk faster, move faster. At times it was a little exhausting, but I loved the energy. The city also looks so different from Ios …no palm trees, no ocean, very different architectural aesthetic.”

“I’ve heard that,” Laurent said. “I’ve never been to Ios.”

“Well, when you get there someday, you’ll see that the buildings have clean, straight lines, and most of them have open floor plans inside. Lots of white stone. Ios has a very elegant simplicity.”

Laurent nodded. “I can imagine the contrast, with all of our ornamented stone and towers and curves and crown molding. Not to mention the way people decorate inside their homes.”

“Yes, exactly.”

Just then, the band struck up an enthusiastic rendition of “Chattanooga Choo Choo.” Jo’s eyes lit up, and she reached for Damen’s hand across the table.

“Please can we go dance? Such a good song!”

Damen nodded and let her pull him onto the dance floor. The band was tight, and the happy energy of the dancers was infectious. Damen gave himself over to the simple pleasure of moving with a graceful, enthusiastic partner, enjoying the music and steps together. Jo smiled non-stop as they danced across the floor. Damen couldn’t help but smile, too, as he twirled her around.

A couple of minutes into the number, Damen noticed that Jord and Nikandros had joined them on the dance floor. He didn’t know who had asked whom to dance, but they were both beaming, eyes locked on each other. Damen glanced back toward their table, where Laurent sat alone. Their eyes met, and Laurent gave a little wave. Damen waved back.

“I hate to see Laurent sitting there all alone.”

“I’ll ask him to dance for the next one. He’s a great dancer,” Jo yelled over the music.

The song finished, and the band moved into another upbeat number. Nik and Jord kept dancing, but Jo and Damen returned to the table.

Jo extended her hand to Laurent. “Monsieur, may I have the pleasure?”

“Oui,” Laurent said, smiling and taking her hand.

Damen settled back into their booth to watch his friends dance. Nik and Jord were smiling and talking animatedly, and they moved well together. But Jokaste and Laurent were grace personified. It seemed as if their feet never touched the floor; they glided and spun, eyes locked, steps perfectly synched, swaying effortlessly to the rhythm of the music. With their similar looks and beautiful dancing, Damen found it hard to look anywhere else. He and Jo had dated for a while in college, and it struck him now as slightly absurd that he was watching his ex and the object of his current affections dancing together. At one point, Laurent glanced toward him, and they held one another’s gaze for a moment. It was as if Laurent wanted to see if Damen was watching because seconds later, he spun Jo in a particularly lovely twirl, and then dipped her smoothly as the song ended. She came up laughing, and they walked back to the table hand in hand.

“Well, that was fun,” Jo said, breathing hard and smoothing her skirt as she settled back into the booth. 

“Yes, it was,” Laurent agreed, eyes bright.

“You two looked amazing out there!” Damen said.

“Thanks. We both love to dance…we’ve been known to roll up the rug in the living room, blast some good music, and get our moves on,” Jo said, giggling.

Nik and Jord rejoined the table then; the band was taking a break. Damen enjoyed his beer, and his companions sipped and noshed, Nik and Jord in deep conversation, and Jo and Laurent talking quietly. When the band returned a few minutes later, Nik and Jord wasted no time in heading back out to dance. Laurent’s eyes followed them, his fingers keeping time with the music on the tabletop. Damen thought that Jokaste might suggest that they go and dance again…Laurent clearly wanted to…but she was preoccupied with some texts on her phone. So Damen made a decision, and hoped it wasn’t the wrong one.

“Laurent, would you like to dance?”

Laurent’s eyes shifted from the dancers to Damen, going very wide for a moment. Even in the dim light, Damen could see the blush spreading across his cheeks.

“Um, sure.”

Damen did not offer his hand, as he would have for another partner. He was a little amazed that Laurent had accepted his invitation to dance, and he didn’t want to push his luck.

Once they found a spot on the floor, Damen turned to face Laurent. “Do you mind if I lead?” he asked, trying to keep his voice easy, casual. “Generally works a bit better since I’m apparently a giant animal.”

Laurent smirked. “No, that’s fine. I can follow.”

Damen’s arm slid around Laurent’s slender waist, and Laurent rested his hand on Damen’s shoulder. Their hands clasped. Damen knew that he was a perfectly competent dancer, but having seen Laurent and Jo dance so beautifully earlier in the evening made him self-conscious. He forced his feet to start moving, and Laurent followed his steps with perfect grace. They were quiet at first, avoiding one another’s eyes, and just moving with the music.

“You dance very well,” Laurent said after a few moments.

“Don’t sound so surprised,” Damen teased. “I actually got into swing dancing during my exchange year in Arles. I used to love going dancing with the guy I was seeing at the time.”

“Where?”

“Oh, we’d go to the Savoy, mostly. Sometimes to Danse Arles.”

“Yes, I used to go to both of those places on occasion.”

“With Jord?”

“Usually. And sometimes with another Arles friend of mine, Vannes.”

“Jord seems really nice. And he and Nik seem to like each other a lot…I had no idea!”

Laurent’s gaze shifted to where Jord and Nikandros danced, a gentle smile softening his face. “Yes, they met at dinner at our place a few weeks ago, and Jo and I both noticed the instant connection. They haven’t seen each other since then…Jord left for vacation soon after.”

“Well, it seems to be a happy reunion.”

“It does indeed.”

“Did you and Jord ever date?” Damen blurted, then silently berated himself for asking what was probably a monumentally stupid question since Laurent had told him that he didn’t date at all.

But surprisingly, it didn’t seem to faze Laurent, who simply shook his head. “No. Jord’s like my brother. I love him to the moon and back, but not like that.”

Damen released the breath he’d been holding. “Yeah, that sounds a lot like me and Nik, actually. I love that guy like crazy…he really is my brother, especially since my actual brother and I aren’t close anymore.”

“I’m sorry. That must be hard.”

“It’s OK. I’ve gotten used to it. And as adults, we can make our own families, right?”

“Yes, so true,” Laurent replied. He was quiet for a moment, his eyes far away as he seemed to decide whether to go on. He cleared his throat. “Jord really is my family now. And more recently, Jokaste also. My parents and brother all died when I was younger.”

“God, Laurent, I’m so sorry,” Damen said, aghast. He squeezed their clasped hands once.

“Thanks. It is what it is. But Jord is the reason I survived high school.”

“Well I’m really happy that you have him. I look forward to getting to know him better. I have a feeling he’ll be coming over regularly,” Damen said, eyes twinkling as he stole a sideways glance at Nik and Jord dancing.

“Yes, I expect you’ll be seeing a lot of him.”

The band finished the upbeat number they’d been playing, and moved into a slower song. Damen stopped and let go of Laurent’s hand. “Do you want to keep dancing?” he asked.

“Yes. I love this song,” Laurent replied. “Lead on, giant animal.”

Damen shook his head, grinning, and took Laurent’s hand again. The quieter, more melancholy music settled around them, and the mood seemed to shift. Their conversation stopped, and Damen noticed that Laurent had moved a bit nearer. Damen tried to keep his arm comfortable around Laurent’s waist, not wanting to overstep. But Laurent kept closing the gap. It was confusing, but after a time, Damen just went with it.

Eventually, their chests were nearly flush, and Laurent rested his cheek against Damen’s shoulder. Damen’s heart fluttered wildly in his chest, his palm flat against the small of Laurent’s back. They swayed slowly, and Damen just breathed, filling his nose with the smell of Laurent’s hair.

He never wanted the song to end, but of course it did. Laurent lifted his head, unlinked their hands, and stepped back too quickly to seem casual. “Thank you for the dance,” he said, his voice clipped and a little too loud. “See you back at the table…I have to use the restroom.” He turned on his heel before Damen could reply, and raced from the dance floor.

Damen looked after Laurent and sighed. He saw Nik and Jord heading back to their table, so he followed them. Jord turned to smile at Damen, and then seemed to realize that Laurent was not with him; his eyes searched the room before he spotted Laurent’s retreating back. He whispered something in Nik’s ear, smiled apologetically at Damen, and then moved to follow Laurent. Damen caught up with Nik.

“So, um, you and Jord?” Damen said, grinning at his friend in spite of his complete bafflement over whatever had just happened with Laurent.

“Yeah. We all had dinner together at Jo’s and Laurent’s house earlier in the summer, and we just really clicked…it was like we’d known each other for years. And, of course, it doesn’t hurt that he’s really good looking. I’m having so much fun tonight!”

“I’m happy for you, man. He seems like a great guy.”

“Thanks, he is,” Nik said, a dreamy, lop-sided smile spreading his lips. But then he sobered a bit as he looked at Damen, eyes focusing. “So, I saw you and Laurent dancing, and then he bolted. What’s up?”

“Wish I knew,” Damen said. “I’m worried that I overstepped in some way.”

“Well, Jord will get him sorted out,” Nik said confidently. “Let’s go sit down with Jo for a bit.”

Sighing, Damen followed Nikandros back to their table, but he couldn’t help glancing over his shoulder to see if there was any sign of Laurent or Jord. He could not see them anywhere. _What have I done?_ Damen worried.


	6. A Walk to Talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided to add an epilogue (chapter 7) to this story...there's just a little more I'd like to say about these two lovely guys (and their friends). I hope to get it written in the next week, but it may be a little longer due to our summer travel plans. Thanks for your patience! And as always, thank you for your lovely kudos and comments...they mean so much to me! Hope you enjoy chapter 6. :-)

Damen tried to enjoy conversation with Jokaste and Nik back at the table, but he couldn’t stop worrying that he had offended Laurent somehow when they were dancing. His stomach churned. After a long ten minutes, Laurent and Jord finally appeared and rejoined the group.

“Sorry we vanished for so long,” Jord said, trying to strike a casual tone.

“No worries,” Damen and Nik said at exactly the same time. Everyone laughed nervously as Jord and Laurent slid back into their booth.

Damen risked a glance at Laurent; his face was more open than it had been at the end of their dance, and he offered Damen a small smile, but it did not quite reach his round, wide eyes. Still, the attempted smile was reassuring. Damen wasn’t sure what Laurent was hoping to see in his expression, so he tried to just play it easy and friendly, and he smiled back. He took a long drink of his stout. Laurent sipped his club soda, dropping his gaze to the table.

After a few minutes of awkward quiet, the band started another number, and Nik and Jord got up to dance. Jo looked at Laurent.

“I know you love this song. Want to dance again?”

“Sure,” he said, his smile finally reaching his eyes.

For the second time that night, Damen found himself alone, watching his friends move across the floor. Unlike the first time, he noticed that Jokaste and Laurent kept bending their heads close to talk while they danced. At one point, Laurent looked at Damen, and then turned away quickly. When they moved so that Jo was facing back toward the table, she winked at Damen. He waved in reply; he knew his face probably looked confused, but he didn’t have the mental energy to force a smile.

When the song ended, Jo and Laurent came back, Laurent trailing behind and looking at Damen. As Jo slid into the booth, Laurent moved to stand near Damen, eyes still locked on him.

“Would you like to take a walk with me?” he asked, sounding a little scared.

“Sure. It’s stuffy in here…a walk sounds good,” Damen replied. He tried to give Laurent what he hoped was a reassuring smile.

Laurent led the way out of the club. Once they were on the sidewalk outside, Damen let him set the direction and pace.

“So, I’m betting you’re a bit confused,” Laurent began.

“Yes, but you don’t owe me any explanation. You made yourself clear at Café Soleil yesterday.”

“Well, there’s a story behind all of this, and I think you deserve to know it, at least in part. It might help you understand.”

“Well, I’m happy to listen, Laurent, but as I said, you don’t need to feel obligated to explain anything.”

“But I want to because I really like you,” Laurent gushed, and then looked slightly mortified, blushing fiercely.

Damen could not help smiling as his chest flooded with warmth. “I really like you too.”

They walked in silence for a few steps, and Damen heard Laurent take some deep breaths. Finally, he began.

“So, I mentioned that my parents and brother all died when I was younger. My mom died of cancer when I was ten, and my father and brother were killed in a car accident when I was 13. I moved in with my uncle, who I had always liked fine. But unfortunately, I really hadn’t known who he was; he turned out to be a horrible man, and he abused me, physically and psychologically. The physical abuse stopped when I was almost 15. And that was around the same time that Jord and I became close friends. He and his family helped me begin to make plans for my independence. Starting college, moving here to Ravenel, changed my life. My uncle does not know where I am, and for the first time since my family died, I’m out from under his control. It’s amazing. I feel like I’m coming to life in ways I never could before.”

Damen nodded thoughtfully. “Please, go on.”

“So, my uncle’s physical abuse wasn’t hitting me, at least not usually. He, uh, well, it was…sexual abuse,” Laurent said, unable to keep the disgust from his voice. His cheeks reddened, and he stared at the sidewalk.

Damen slowed and turned his face toward Laurent, his eyes wide. “God, Laurent, that’s awful. Your uncle sounds like such a cruel, terrible person. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. You deserved to be loved, respected, and comforted, not abused.” Damen shook his head sadly. They had both stopped moving. Damen’s natural instinct was to reach out and comfort by clasping a hand or squeezing a shoulder, but given what he had just learned, he resisted the impulse.

Laurent stayed still; they stood under the branches of a sprawling oak tree. “Thanks for your concern for me. It was a very hard time. But thankfully it’s in the past.”

They gazed at each other for a moment, the dry oak leaves rustling above them. Then Laurent began to walk again, Damen following.

Laurent talked quickly, as if trying to push the rest of the story out so he could be done with it. “So, when I was 15, after the physical abuse stopped, I decided that not dating was what I needed to do. I couldn’t even imagine letting someone get close to me in that way. But I’m not sure anymore. I’m an adult now, not a scared little boy, and I’ve worked hard to overcome what I’ve been through. You’re the first person who has made me seriously question my plan, though. I really like you. And maybe I’m finally ready to try something. But I’m also really terrified. And I can’t believe I just told you all of this.”

Damen stopped, and waited for Laurent to turn to face him. “I’m glad you told me,” Damen said, meeting Laurent’s eyes steadily. “I admire your strength and resilience, Laurent. I’m sure it wasn’t easy, escaping your uncle and getting here.”

“I just had to think about 5 steps ahead of him all the time. Luckily, by the time I was in my senior year of high school and was really putting all the pieces together for my grand escape, I knew Uncle pretty well, so I could predict his moves fairly accurately. It also helped that he consistently underestimated me, and I let him.”

“You are not someone to be underestimated!” Damen exclaimed emphatically. It was so hard not to reach for Laurent’s shoulder to give it an encouraging pat, but again, he resisted the urge.

“Thanks. My uncle did everything in his power to convince me that I was stupid and unworthy and incapable, so once I figured out that that was his game, I learned to play along. And meanwhile, I was planning my new life.”

Damen sucked in a breath, and shook his head. “In high school, my biggest worries were grades, wrestling matches and rugby games, and whether or not the girl or guy I happened to be interested in liked me back. I can’t even imagine what you were going through. It breaks my heart to think about it.”

“It doesn’t disgust you?” Laurent asked quietly, looking at his feet and kicking an acorn on the ground.

“Well, your uncle’s actions definitely disgust me, and if he was here right now, I’d have a hard time not knocking him to the ground. But you are not disgusting, Laurent…not at all! What happened was not your fault. You were a child, and your uncle preyed on you.”

“And now? What am I now?”

“Now, you’re a strong, brave adult who can do anything he sets his mind to. And,” Damen paused, lifting Laurent’s chin with one finger to look into his eyes, and smiled a little shyly, “you’re also fun and smart and interesting. And beautiful. I like you a lot.”

“I wasn’t fishing for compliments,” Laurent said, laughing softly.

Damen dropped his hand slowly. “Didn’t think you were.”

“So, I have no idea what happens now.”

“What happens now is whatever we want to happen now. I’m enjoying getting to know you and becoming your friend. I think you need to call the shots.”

“I don’t even know what shots to call.”

“Well, here’s an idea: I’d love to dance with you again, if you would enjoy that.”

“I would,” Laurent said, his eyes shining with the smile that had lit up his face.

“Well then, would you like to accompany me back to the dance floor and cut it up?”

Damen did offer his hand then, his own face also bright with happiness.

Laurent looked at Damen’s outstretched hand for a moment before slowly, carefully, placing his hand into Damen’s larger one. He stared at their clasped fingers, taking a deep breath and shaking his head

“I can’t believe I’m doing this.”

“Is this OK?” Damen asked quickly, worried that he had overstepped.

“Yes, it is. It’s nice. Now, let’s go. We’re missing good music.”

They turned around and headed back to Café Soleil. The rest of the evening passed in a happy blur of dancing, laughing, and talking, sometimes just the two of them, sometimes with Jo, Nik, and Jord. By the time everyone was tired and ready to head out, Damen felt like he and Laurent had a lot in common with Jord and Nik: they couldn’t stop smiling at one another.

Jokaste looked around the four guys, grinning and shaking her head softly. “Wow, you all look happy,” she said, regarding each of them in turn.

“What a fun night! Thanks everyone,” Damen replied.

“Yes, let’s do it again sometime,” Nik said, and Jord smiled at him, reaching for his hand.

The group moved outside from the foyer of the club. Nik and Jord stood off to one side for a moment, hands clasped and faces close together.

“We’re going to go get a nightcap,” Nik announced, Jord beaming beside him.

“Enjoy! Goodnight guys,” Jo said, and turned toward home. Laurent had frozen on the sidewalk, halfway between her and Damen.

“I’m walking too, same direction you two are,” Damen said. Jo and Laurent fell into step beside him. They walked, mostly in companionable, sleepy silence, but sometimes enjoying a little conversation. When they arrived at Jokaste’s and Laurent’s house, Jo gave each of them a hug and a smile, unlocked the door, and slipped inside, closing it softly behind her. Laurent and Damen were left on the porch with the moon, stars and night creatures for company.

They turned to each other, and at the same moment, both said “I….”

Laughing, Damen inclined his head. “You first.”

Laurent took a deep breath, and then met Damen’s gaze, his blue eyes wide with wonder. “I had such a good time tonight. With you. I never thought anyone would…care enough to try this with me. I did not see you coming.”

“I didn’t see you coming either, believe me. But here’s my question: why wouldn’t I want to get to know you? You’re amazing, you know.”

“Thanks. And for a giant animal, you’re pretty great too,” Laurent said, lifting one eyebrow and grinning. He took a step closer to Damen, meeting his eyes steadily though his body trembled almost imperceptibly.

“Thanks for your support,” Damen answered, chuckling quietly, and stepping toward Laurent in turn.

It was as if he and Laurent were magnets; standing apart became impossible. Damen was still attuned to the feeling of Laurent in his arms, such a recent impression from dancing earlier in the evening, and he wanted to feel him there again. Moving slowly, keeping his eyes locked on Laurent’s to check for any signs that his touch was unwelcome, Damen rested one hand on Laurent’s shoulder, and lifted his other to smooth some golden strands of hair back from Laurent’s forehead, and tuck them behind his ear. He stroked softly along Laurent’s cheekbone with his thumb, cupping the side of his face. Laurent leaned into the touch, and Damen felt relief and joy flood through him. He moved closer still, and Laurent’s eyes closed in the moment just before Damen touched his lips. The kiss was gentle, just a first meeting of mouths, but Damen was immediately entranced by the softness of Laurent’s lips. One kiss became several, and Laurent slipped his arms around Damen’s neck. Damen moved to encircle Laurent’s waist to pull him closer. They stayed like that for several minutes, kissing, holding, and touching in the quiet and peace of the night.

After a final lingering kiss, Laurent pulled away slowly and with obvious reluctance. “I could keep doing that for a lot longer,” he confessed. “And part of me really wants to ask you to come in. But I think I need to take things slow right now. I hope you understand.”

Damen nodded and smiled reassuringly, though his body definitely missed Laurent’s closeness. “Of course I do. This isn’t a race, Laurent. We can take all the time we need. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Me either. And thank you.”

“I have no particular expectations. Every relationship is different. And I would wait a long time for you.”

Laurent shook his head softly, and reached out to take Damen’s hand. “I still can’t quite believe you’re real.”

Damen squeezed his hand and smiled. “Right here. With you. Nowhere else I’d rather be.”

A giddy laugh escaped Laurent, then, and his blush swept up his neck and across the plains of his face. They stood there for a moment, just holding hands and gazing at one another.

Laurent gave Damen’s hand a squeeze. “All right, giant animal, my dear Akielon friend, I need to sleep. I have to be at my church job by 9:00 am.”

“Church job?”

“Yep. I’m a paid singer in an Episcopal church choir. So I need to sound somewhat well-rested.”

“Yes, go get some shut-eye. I hope you sleep well. And Laurent,” Damen said, lifting his other hand to Laurent’s shoulder, “I had the best time tonight. With you. I would love to spend time with you again soon.”

“I had a great time also. And I would like that so much.”

They stared at each other again; Damen felt completely lost in a world of eyes, lips and hands cast in moonlight, and he had no desire to ever be found. Finally Laurent squeezed Damen’s hand again, and then dropped it so that he could, instead, move swiftly into Damen’s arms. Damen held him delightedly, breathing in the scent of his soft hair, and savoring Laurent’s warmth. After another few moments, Laurent kissed Damen’s mouth once, and then the tip of his nose, before pulling away and opening the door.

“Goodnight,” he said, turning halfway inside, his eyes sparkling and his lips lifted in the sweetest smile.

“Goodnight, Laurent.” The door closed softly.

As Damen floated home, he knew he was grinning like a love-struck idiot, and he could not have cared less.


	7. Epilogue: The Following Spring

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for taking so long to get this epilogue written and posted! It's been a very busy few weeks since my return from vacation. I hope it's worth the wait. Thanks so much for reading. I welcome your comments and feedback...they help me improve my writing.

Damen’s alarm announced the start of a new day. An important day. He kissed the blond head that was pillowed heavily on his chest; Laurent still seemed mostly unconscious.

“Big day, sleepyhead! Time to wake up,” Damen prodded gently, placing kiss after kiss in Laurent’s soft, bed-mussed hair.

“Grmph.”

“C’mon, it’s recital day!”

“Mmm hmm. 5 more minutes.”

“I can refuse you nothing,” Damen murmured, tightening his arms around Laurent and pulling their bodies flush. He ran his hands over Laurent’s smooth, warm skin, massaging from his shoulder blades down to the small of his back, and kissing his hair over and over again.

With some insistence from the alarm’s next sounding, Laurent finally began to stir. He raised his head to kiss Damen, sleepy and sweet. Damen kept him close, one hand exploring the dip of Laurent’s low back, and the fingers of the other threading through his hair.

A few minutes later, Damen pulled back, reluctantly, from approximately kiss number 27 and looked into Laurent’s ocean-blue eyes. He grinned playfully. “If you keep that up, you’re not going to get up when you said you wanted to get up,” he said, gazing at Laurent’s beloved face.

“Ah yes, best laid plans and all that. Fuck them,” Laurent said, diving back in for another kiss.

“OK, but don’t say I didn’t warn you,” Damen said, rolling them over and kissing Laurent deeply. Laurent hummed, twining his arms around Damen’s neck, and then lifting one hand to card through Damen’s curls. Damen would have happily stayed right there forever. The world outside could be so hard sometimes, but here, in this bed with his arms around Laurent, everything seemed possible, and life was so very good.

An hour or so later, without bothering to dress first, they stumbled out of the bedroom, giggling and stopping to kiss every foot or so. Suddenly, Laurent’s eyes flew open. “Is Nik here?” he whispered.

Damen laughed. “Nope, we’re safe! He’s at Jord’s place. Not that he would care.”

“No, but I would! I like Nik, but only you get to see me like this.”

“Lucky, lucky me,” Damen whispered, dipping close to capture Laurent’s lips again, and lifting him off the floor. Laurent swooned just a little, and Damen’s heart filled his chest; it still made him feel so good to know how much Laurent wanted him. He carried Laurent the few remaining steps to the bathroom, and they tumbled into the shower. Damen washed Laurent’s hair slowly and luxuriously, one of his very favorite rituals. Laurent returned the favor, and scrubbed Damen’s back and shoulders. Damen could not stop kissing him, and running his hands over so much beautiful skin. He loved every inch of it.

The water began to grow cold, so they finally got out. Damen grabbed a fluffy towel to wrap around Laurent before reaching for one for himself. As he dried off, he stepped back to give Laurent some space to sort out his hair. Damen’s eyes followed the up and down of Laurent’s hand as he worked the comb through the wet strands. Damen loved that Laurent had let his hair grow slightly longer over the past several months; the river of gold now touched his shoulder blades. When the comb snagged and Laurent hissed impatiently, Damen couldn’t resist reaching over to help untangle the misbehaving hair. It was small things like this, moments of gentle domesticity, that particularly delighted him.

Well rested, sex-happy, showered, and dressed, Damen headed downstairs to make them some breakfast. Laurent was usually not a big breakfast guy, but Damen wanted to make sure that he ate well on his recital day.

“Omelet?” he called up the stairs.

“Sure! Thanks.”

A few minutes later, they settled on the porch with omelets and coffee. Laurent had wrapped himself up in one of Damen’s old University of Ios sweatshirts, which was adorably huge on him; the early spring sunshine glinted off his damp hair. He gathered his bare feet underneath him on the wicker chair and sipped his coffee.

“So, what’s your schedule today?” Damen asked in between big bites of his omelet.

“Well, the recital is at 4:00 pm. I’d like to be dressed and ready by 2:00 so I can just relax, warm up, maybe go through a few spots in the music on my own before Timothée arrives at 3:00.”

“OK, well it’s only 10:30, so we’re good.”

“Yep. I’m going to head home shortly and do a few things, and then I’ll get myself ready. Jo will pick you up at 3:15, OK?”

“Sounds great,” Damen said. “I really can’t wait to hear you! You’ve been working so hard preparing for today.”

“Yeah, I have been working hard. I feel ready…a little nervous, but mostly just that it’s time to do this!”

Damen stood up, collecting both of their plates. “OK, let’s do it!”

Laurent smiled at him, and followed him back inside, carrying their coffee cups. They washed up the dishes together, and then Laurent was ready to go, kissing Damen long and slow at the front door on his way out.

After Laurent left, Damen picked up around the house and threw in a load of laundry. He also went to the gym to burn up some of his second-hand nervousness. He knew Laurent was superbly prepared for today; Laurent worked hard at everything he did. Damen also knew that if anything did not go well in the recital, Laurent would be hard on himself about it. But Damen had absolutely no control over the day’s upcoming events. He was simply a spectator.

After his workout and a quick shower, Damen dressed for the occasion: a crisp burgundy dress shirt and black slacks, and the hair gel that Laurent liked the smell of best (pretty much the only kind he used these days) worked through his dark curls. Nothing to do now but wait. He opened a book for one of his classes, trying to pass the time, but he kept re-reading the same paragraph.

Damen’s phone buzzed at 2:50 pm, a text from Jokaste.

J: Mind if I come get you now? I’m too full of nervous energy to do anything! And everything’s all set here for later.

D: You and me both with the nervous energy! Sure, c’mon. And could we make a stop by a flower shop?

J: Of course! (emoji with heart eyes)

D: Whatever. But thanks. ☺

D: I’m ready.

J: Coming!

Jo pulled up in her car a few mintues later, and Damen was relieved to finally be on his way. Jo drove them Fleurs de Ravenel, which happened to be next door to Café Soleil; while Damen went into the flower shop, Jo got them coffees. They met back at the car a few minutes later, Jo holding two lattes, and Damen cradling a bouquet of a dozen red roses.

Jo settled their coffees into cup holders, and then gazed at the flowers. “Wow, you don’t mess around,” she said, almost to herself. She reached out to touch one soft red petal with her fingertip. “They’re beautiful. He’ll love them.” Damen held the flowers close for her to smell, and she closed her eyes, inhaling deeply. “Mmmmm, heaven. Damen, you are such a romantic!”

“He brings it out in me! I can’t help myself.”

“You shouldn’t try to! It’s a good thing. You two are really great together.”

“Thanks, Jo. You’re a good friend.”

“You too,” she said, giving Damen’s shoulder a quick squeeze. “OK, we’ve got a recital to catch!” She started the engine, and they drove toward campus, the competing smells of roses and coffee filling the small car.

As it was a Sunday afternoon, parking on campus wasn’t difficult. Only 3:30…still 30 minutes to go. Damen didn’t think he could stand to squirm in a seat in the recital hall for that long before seeing Laurent.

“Wanna sit out here and finish our coffees?” Damen said, pointing to a low stone wall beside the steps into the music building.

“Yes, that’s perfect. It’s too pretty a day to be inside,” Jo agreed. 

They settled on the sun-warmed stones side by side. Damen laid the bouquet across his lap, and then lifted his coffee, drinking deeply. The cool spring sunshine and the warm latte were a perfect combination.

“Wow, it’s so nice to see the sun! Do winters in Vere ever get easier to take?” Damen asked.

“I guess I’ve kind of gotten used to them. But I am the rare Akielon who actually thinks it’s too hot in Ios.”

“Yeah, you never did love the heat.”

Damen sipped his coffee for a moment, and then turned to face Jokaste. “Is it ever weird for you that, um, we used to date and now I’m dating your roommate?”

Jo laughed. “Not weird, exactly. Seeing Laurent so happy with you does my heart good! Really, he deserves it so much, and I love him. But…” Jo trailed off, her eyes far away as she searched for her next thought. After a moment, she met Damen’s gaze. “Seeing you two together reminds me what a great boyfriend you were to me. It makes me a little sad sometimes that I couldn’t see what a gem I had. But I was in a different place at that point in my life…just wasn’t there yet, you know?”

“We were pretty young,” Damen agreed.

“Yes, and given my family background and trust issues, I was doing the best I could. I’m actually really grateful for our relationship. You taught me a lot.”

“You taught me stuff too. And I’m really glad that you wanted to stay friends.”

“Yeah, we’re doing that part much better than we ever did the dating thing.”

Damen chuckled. “Agreed. So glad you’re here in Ravenel!”

“Me too. For lots of reasons. The cooler weather does suit me. And I needed to get away from Ios.”

“I wish you could find someone as good for you as Laurent is for me.”

“I wish that too, Damen. But at the same time, I’m doing really well on my own right now. I mean, if it happens, that would be lovely. But I also have a good life.”

“Well, whenever he comes along, he’ll be a lucky guy.”

“Thanks, friend,” Jo said. Damen felt her fingers curl around his hand, and squeeze once. Jo’s touch always felt comforting to him, the warm skin of an old friend, someone he would always love. He squeezed back. They sipped their coffees in companionable silence for a few minutes, hands linked, enjoying the sunshine. Jo closed her eyes and lifted her face to the sky. Damen relished the rays warming his shoulders.

At 3:50, they made their way inside. Jord and Nik were already there and had saved them seats. Jord had also brought a bouquet of flowers, Damen noticed, but daisies, not roses. He pointed at Damen’s flowers, grinning, and gave him an enthusiastic thumbs up. Damen smiled in greeting and settled into his seat next to Nik, Jo on his other side. The stage was simply set: a beautiful black Steinway grand piano, open to short-stick with its curve facing the audience, a chair near the keyboard on the far side of the piano, and a low table stage-left of the piano, set with a tall glass of water.

Damen perused the program. It was thrilling to see “Laurent Chastillon, baritone” at the top of the page; beneath his name, in slightly smaller type, “Timothée Richard, piano” was indicated. The recital included works by Caccini, Monteverdi, Purcell, Schubert, Mendelssohn, and Vaughan Williams. The song cycle that Timothée had written for Laurent last fall concluded the program; he was a composer as well as an excellent pianist. Damen noticed that the music was arranged from the oldest works to the most recent.

Finally the lights in the hall lowered, the stage door opened, and Laurent walked out followed by Timothée and a woman Damen had not met. Laurent and Timothée came to the front of the stage; the woman, Timothée’s page turner (Damen had learned a lot about performance practice in recent months!), sat down in the chair. Laurent and Timothée acknowledged the audience and took bows. Laurent’s smile was dazzling, and he bowed gracefully, confidently. He wore the navy three-piece suit that Damen had helped him pick out for this occasion, an elegant jacket that emphasized his broad shoulders, the matching vest hugging his chest flatteringly, and tapered pants that celebrated his slender waist and long legs. His crisp cream-colored shirt, wine-red tie, and shiny black dress shoes completed the look. He (or possibly Jo) had done his hair in a tasteful French braid. Damen’s breath rushed out of him, and his brain could only manage one thought: Laurent looked absolutely stunning.

The hall was small, only 200 seats, so Damen was not surprised when Laurent found his eyes. Their gazes locked for just a moment, and Laurent winked, so subtly as to be largely imperceptible to everyone else in the room. But Damen felt his heart soar; he knew that wink was just for him. He nodded in response and gave a small thumbs up. Laurent’s smile expanded.

As the applause died down, Laurent took a few steps back, standing just in front of the curve of the piano. Timothée took his place on the piano bench. The two made eye contact. As silence settled in the room, Laurent nodded, and music rose from the piano. After a few bars of introduction, Laurent began to sing.

His voice was clear and warm. It was not a huge voice, but it still filled the hall effortlessly, and it drew Damen in. He was rapt. By the silence in the hall, he could tell that the others in the audience were as well.

Damen noticed that Laurent changed his sound from piece to piece. In the first set, which included Caccini, Monteverdi, and Purcell, he employed a clarity of tone that involved very little vibrato but made use of some impressive vocal ornamentation at times. In the German set, Schubert and Mendelssohn, his voice was warmed by more liberal use of vibrato. For the modern works, the Vaughan Williams songs in English and Timothée’s song cycle in Veretian, Laurent’s delivery became less operatic, more conversational, and again, the vibrato was more selectively employed. Damen was amazed that one voice could make so many different sounds!

After Laurent’s last piece, the audience erupted into enthusiastic applause. Laurent’s fellow music majors, all in a row near the front of the hall, lept to their feet yelling “Bravo Laurent” and “woo hoo!” Damen stood also, followed in short order by Jord, Nik, and Jo, all applauding ecstatically. “Bravo!” Damen shouted. Jord placed two fingers to his lips and whistled loudly.

Laurent stood at the front of the stage, taking it all in. He beamed and folded into a long, smooth bow. He then acknowledged Timothée, and the pianist came to the front of the stage to stand beside Laurent. Laurent shook his hand, and they bowed together. Damen didn’t have to worry about how the recital went (though to his own ears, everything had sounded incredible); Laurent’s face said it all. He was glowing with happiness. Damen’s relief and joy made his heart feel huge in his chest. He had so wanted this to be a really good day for Laurent, and it had been.

Damen, Jo, Jord, and Nik stayed in their seats for a few minutes after the lights came up; they knew that Laurent’s professors and fellow music students would want to greet him.

“Wow, he was absolutely amazing!” Damen gushed.

“Yes, I totally agree. I don’t see how he can’t be really happy with this,” Jord said ecstatically.

“I’m so happy for him. He’s worked so hard,” Jo said, beaming.

“Yay! That was awesome!” Nik added.

After a few minutes, the crowd began to thin out, and the foursome approached Laurent and Timothée, who were standing outside the stage door smiling and chatting with the remaining recital attendees. Damen caught Laurent’s eye, and Laurent smiled at him, the special, slightly lop-sided Damen smile that always made Damen’s heart expand to fill his chest. Damen grinned back and gave him a thumbs up. He stayed back to let Jord, Nik, and Jo greet Laurent first, and instead approached Timothée and offered his hand. The pianist accepted it in a warm handshake.

“Congratulations, man. That was amazing! You two make a great team.”

‘Thank you, Damen,” Timothée replied. “It’s a pleasure working with Laurent. His voice can do so much. I’m hoping we can work together on some more projects.”

“I think he really enjoyed it too. And wow, I liked your piece very much!”

“Thanks, I’m so glad! I have loved the poetry of Remi Martin for a while, and I really wanted to set some of it. Laurent’s voice was the inspiration.”

“Well, you wrote it so well for him! And I’m always excited to see the words of young queer writers get some exposure.”

“Me too,” Timothée said, nodding. Just then, Timothée’s boyfriend, Jacques, came up to embrace him. Damen stepped back to give them some space, and found that Laurent was finally free of admirers.

“Hi,” Damen said, holding out the bouquet of roses.

Laurent reached for them almost reverently and gathered the blooms close to his face, inhaling deeply. “Mmmm. They’re gorgeous. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Damen whispered. He took the bouquet from Laurent’s arms and laid it on a nearby bench before sweeping Laurent into a hug and kissing the crown of his head.

“Hello you,” Laurent chuckled, his lips against Damen’s shoulder. He stepped back and took both of Damen’s hands in his own, swinging them gently back and forth.

“Well….?”

“It was amazing. You were absolutely amazing. Just…wow, Laurent.”

Laurent’s eyes sparkled like the ocean in the late-day summer sun. “Thank you, love.”

“Absolutely! Do you feel good about it?”

“Yes, I really do! I mean, there are always little things I could do better, but on the whole, I’m actually really pleased with how it went. Phew!” Laurent blew out a happy sigh.

“I’m so glad you’re happy. From where I was sitting, it sounded fantastic. Geez, Laurent, you were mesmerizing!”

“Well well, I managed to entrance a giant animal!” Laurent quipped, cocking his eyebrow playfully.

Damen laughed, and swept him into another giant hug. He finally released Laurent reluctantly.

“Do you want to change here, or are you ready to head out?”

“I’ll change at home. Let’s get going.”

They collected Laurent’s things, including the two bouquets of flowers, Damen’s roses and Jord’s daisies.

As they walked out into the late-day sunshine, Laurent took a deep breath and smiled, lifting his face to the sky.

“I did it!” he said quietly, triumphantly.

“Yes, you really did!”

Laurent looked around the quiet parking lot. “Where did Jo, Jord, and Nik run away to? I barely saw them. And Timothée and Jacques took off too!”

“I guess everyone has hot plans for their Saturday night,” Damen said, trying to strike a casual tone.

Laurent shrugged. They put everything into his car and headed for home.

When they walked in the front door of Jokaste’s and Laurent’s house a few minutes later, they were greeted by a sea of happy faces, applause, and shouts of “bravo,” “yay Laurent,” “congratulations” and “woo hoo!” Laurent’s huge, shocked eyes quickly crinkled as a wide, knowing smile spread across his face. He shook his head, laughing.

“Ah, I should’ve known!” His eyes found Jo in the group. “Was this your idea?”

Jo laughed, coming over to stand in front of Laurent. “Yes, but Damen, Jord, and Nik were great co-conspirators!”

Laurent laughed too, and pulled her into a hug. He whispered something in her ear, and she hugged him tighter. Then she took his hand and pulled him over toward the mantle. Damen trailed behind.

“Damen and I wanted to mark, in some way, that your family would have been here today if they could have been, and that they would be so proud of you. So I hope you don’t mind this.”

Laurent gazed at the mantelpiece, and took a long, slow breath in. Jo had set up pictures of Laurent’s family with a votive candle and a single white rose beside each: Laurent with his mother, Laurent’s father, and Laurent with his brother, Auguste. His eyes filled with tears even as he kept smiling. Damen came close and rested his hand on the small of Laurent’s back.

Laurent reached for Jo’s hand, and squeezed it. “Thank you. So much. This is one of the kindest things anyone has ever done for me.” Laurent turned to Damen then, and nestled close against him. “Thank you,” he murmured into Damen’s chest.

Damen pulled him into his arms, and kissed his temple. “You’re welcome. Hey Jo, c’mere,” Damen said, opening his arm and inviting her to join their embrace. “Group hug!”

Jo and Damen surrounded Laurent, who needed a moment. Tears were slipping down his cheeks, but he still smiled and his face was peaceful, even beatific. The three turned to face the mantle for a moment, standing in a line with their arms around each other. Laurent drank in the pictures of his family, golden in the candlelight, and gradually composed himself.

“Ok,” he sniffed, wiping his eyes with a handkerchief that Damen had produced, “there’s a party in full swing here. And it seems to be for me. I don’t want to miss it.” He turned toward the busy room of people eating, drinking, and chatting, and moved toward his friends. Damen was going to give him a little space, but Laurent looked back over his shoulder and held out his hand. “Join me?” he asked.

Damen smiled and clasped Laurent’s hand. Together they greeted all the guests: Laurent’s fellow music majors and their significant others, Laurent’s voice teacher, a few of Laurent’s political science classmates, Laurent’s and Jokaste’s colleagues from Café Soleil, and the Arles contingent: Jord’s family, and Laurent’s old friend Vannes. The dining table was covered with finger foods and sweets, and Jo had set up a card table to make space for drinks. Swing music pulsed softly from a boombox in the corner of the living room. Maddie was nowhere to be seen; Damen expected she was curled up on Laurent’s bed, trying to ignore the party away.

When the first wave of guests had departed and the little house was less crowded, Jo came up and tapped Laurent on the shoulder. “I have a question for the man of the hour. Dancing or no dancing?”

Damen giggled; Laurent was looking at Jo like she’d grown a second head. “What kind of a question is that? Of course dancing!”

Jo laughed. “I thought so,” she said to Damen quietly. They moved the couch back, and rolled up the living room rug. Jo cranked up the boombox, and Glenn Miller’s “In the Mood” filled the room; a few couples moved to the cleared space and began to move. Laurent danced with Jo first, then Vannes. When the slower, more romantic “Moonlight Serenade” came on, he sidled up to Damen with a smile. Damen never tired of dancing with Laurent, or of any opportunity to have him in his arms.

As the evening marched steadily toward night, the dancers ran out of energy and settled on the couch and chairs, or pillows on the floor. Damen looked around. By this point, the party guests had thinned out. Vannes remained; she was staying overnight at Jord and Orlant’s place. Timothée, Jacques, Jord, and Nik were also still at the party, and Jo, of course.

Damen relaxed on the floor with his back against the couch; Laurent sat between his long legs, reclining against his chest.

Laurent looked around at each one of his friends in turn. “Thank you all for making today so special for me.”

Damen saw nodding heads, raised glasses, and kind smiles for Laurent. It warmed him through and through.

Laurent lifted his drink, a special mocktail Jord called "The Prince of Vere" and had created specially for the occasion, and said, “A toast to Timothée. You played so beautifully today, and you were a great recital partner. Thank you.”

Jacques tightened his arm around Timothée, and the pianist blushed, smiling and raising his glass to Laurent in turn. Everyone took a drink.

Laurent continued. “And really, I would not be here without the people in this room. Jord and his family helped me escape from the nightmare of my old life. Vannes helped too. And all of you have cared about me and supported me as I worked to be a healthier, happier person. Thank you for becoming my family, especially since my blood family cannot be here today.”

As he spoke, Laurent had pressed his back against Damen’s chest and taken both of his hands, wrapping himself in Damen’s arms. Damen squeezed him gently.

The room raised their glasses again, and everyone took a long, quiet drink. After a moment, relaxed conversation resumed. Damen surveyed the faces around him; everyone looked content and sleepy.

Timothée and Jacques rose together a few minutes later, and said goodnight. Nik, Jord, and Vannes headed out shortly after. Laurent had stood up to say goodnight to his friends, so Damen was freed to go help Jo put stuff away in the kitchen. Laurent went upstairs to release Maddie from his room (although he shut her up during parties as much for her own preferences as anyone else’s) and change. The little house suddenly seemed very quiet. Jo and Damen got the food put away quickly, and Jo kissed Damen’s cheek in thanks on her way upstairs to bed. 

Laurent came back downstairs in pajama bottoms and one of Damen’s old wrestling team t-shirts, which hung nearly to his knees. Maddie padded ahead of him and made straight for her food dish in the kitchen.

Laurent went into the living room and sank into the couch, his eyes drawn to the candles still burning on the mantle. Damen turned out the other lights in the room and sat down behind him. His hand began making slow circles on Laurent’s back.

“What a day,” Laurent said softly, leaning back into Damen’s shoulder.

“An awesome day,” Damen agreed.

Laurent was quiet for a moment, his gaze still lingering on his family on the mantle. “I wish you could have known them.”

“Me too,” Damen said, kissing Laurent’s hair. He had loved bringing Laurent home to Ios over the winter holidays to meet his parents, but had often thought, with sadness, about how Laurent could never do the same with him.

“I actually think you and Auguste would have gotten along great. You could have talked about rugby and other giant animal type stuff.”

“Ha ha. Seriously though, from all you’ve told me about Auguste, I’m sure I would have really liked him. He sounds like he was a great guy.”

“Yes, he was. He was the best big brother ever. I miss him so much.”

Damen pulled Laurent back against him. They sat and breathed together, watching the candles flicker.

“You know,” Laurent began, “I felt their presence today, all the them. Especially Auguste’s. When I was singing, it was like they were with me somehow. They just felt a little bit closer…like maybe the music created a thin place in the veil between our world and wherever they all are now or something. I know I must sound totally crazy!”

“No, not at all. I’m so glad you felt their love and support today. What a gift!”

“Yes, it really was. But in a life filled with amazing gifts, you, my dear Akielon giant animal, are the most amazing one of all.”

“Are you trying to make me cry? Because it’s probably going to work,” Damen said, sniffing and rubbing at his eyes.

“No, I’m not. I guess I’m just feeling super sappy today. Can’t seem to help it.”

“It’s OK, you don’t need to. Not with me. And you know what? You’re an amazing gift too. I’m the luckiest.”

“No, silly, I am,” Laurent argued playfully.

Damen laughed and squeezed Laurent delightedly. “Maybe we can agree that we’re both really lucky.”

“OK, OK. I can accept that.”

They settled into comfortable silence. Damen loved feeling Laurent close as his eyes followed the dance of the candles, and his mind glowed with the joy of the day. At some point, Damen realized that Laurent had relaxed completely against him, and his chest was moving with the deep, even breaths of sleep. Well, Damen thought, let’s put these so called giant animal muscles to some good use. Gently, he turned Laurent to face him and pulled him onto his lap. He secured his arms around Laurent, and then stood smoothly. Remarkably, Laurent slept on. Holding him close, Damen approached the mantle. He regarded each of Laurent’s parents in turn, and lastly his brother. “I promise you all that I’ll be good to him. I truly love him. I won’t let him down,” Damen whispered to the photos. They all stared at him with their frozen smiles, but Damen felt peace settle over him. After one last look at Laurent’s family, Damen blew out the candles and carefully carried his love upstairs to bed.


End file.
